


The Other Hourglass

by idinathoreau



Category: Freaky Friday (2018)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Bodyswap, Coming Out, Exploration, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Gen, Magic, Mild Internalized Homophobia, Mother-Daughter Relationship, but nothing too strong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2020-06-30 12:44:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 33,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19853452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idinathoreau/pseuds/idinathoreau
Summary: 5 years after the wedding, Ellie's off at college and not communicating very much. Katherine's running a successful catering business and wishing she knew more about her daughter's life.And then, the remaining hourglass goes missing. Which wouldn't be a problem except Katherine woke up in Ellie's body this morning.NOT a Mother/Daughter pairing but there will be mentions of a F/F couple.





	1. Again? Again.

**Author's Note:**

> That _really_ niche story for the 5 of us who wanted more from this Dcom...
> 
> This will focus mostly on the relationship between Ellie and Katherine post-movie as they try to be more open with each other and stay close as time passes. NOT a Mother/Daughter pairing but there will be mentions of a F/F couple.
> 
> Updates will mostly be based on interest level since I'm avoiding a lot of my other stories by working on this one.

Katherine stirred, feeling the warmth of Mike next to her. She smiled, shifting under the sheets, a soft sigh escaping her. It was Saturday. Finally time for a nice long day in bed and date night. Between the increase in her catering jobs of late, Fletcher’s commitments to his improv troupe, and Mike’s new contracts, there had been very little time for her and Mike to have some alone time.

Idly, Katherine scratched at her side, fingers trailing a lazy path across her skin. Well, now they could have some fun together.

Her fingers stopped at her navel.

_What is that?_

There was something cold and hard under her fingers. Something metal.

She frowned, shifting under the sheets to feel the thing better. _Is that a ring? I don’t have a piercing…_

Her eyes flew open.

_But Ellie does._

Almost instantly, panic flooded her. Her eyes darted around her, taking everything in. This wasn’t her bedroom. The posters and vaulted ceiling of Ellie’s apartment stood out hazily in the pre-dawn light. The sounds of New York bustled past outside the window.

_Oh no…no…no!_

Katherine shifted as quietly as she could, the cheap sheets scraping against her daughter’s nude form.

_No…Ellie…no…_

As slowly as she dared, Katherine turned her head. The warm body next to her wasn’t Mike. It was someone much younger, much lither. A stranger. 

_Oh I’m so sorry…_

As quietly as possible, Katherine slid out of bed and crossed the dim apartment to the bathroom. She shut the door softly and took a deep breath into the darkness, her eyes squeezed shut.

_It’s just a dream…I’ll turn on the light and wake up…and be myself…_

She groped around, feeling for anything she could cover up with. She pulled on a silk bathrobe with trembling fingers, closing it tightly before she looked. She pointedly ignored the cold of the metal at her navel.

Slowly, she peeled her eyes open. Soft, short bleached hair tousled from sleep greeted her, along with chestnut brown eyes. And a figure too slim and far too young to be her own.

Katherine put a hand to the face that wasn’t hers. The face she loved unconditionally and had worn once for just one day. “Oh Ellie…” She was in her daughter’s body. Again.

_We switched again? But…but how?_

Katherine sagged against the edge of the tub, the sensation feeling wrong now that she was shorter and younger. It had been almost 5 years since that crazy day when they’d both gripped a magic hourglass and wished to be each other. And in that time, they’d done their best to keep their promises to each other. 

Katherine had let Ellie have more freedom and had stopped micromanaging her life so much. In return, Ellie had tried to be more open about her feelings and talked to her more about her life and challenges. They still kept secrets but the normal kind that a mother and daughter kept from each other. For the remainder of Ellie’s high school years, their relationship was the best it had ever been: full of laughter and hugs and unfathomable love.

Then, Ellie had decided on college in New York and everything had changed. For the past three years, Katherine had been struggling to keep in touch with Ellie. She still called and occasionally traveled home for holidays and weekends. But something had shifted between them with the distance. It was so ephemeral but so noticeable that Katherine found she was having trouble clarifying her uneasiness around her own daughter of late. She was more distant, less cheerful than she’d become since their first switch. And Katherine was sure she was keeping more secrets.

Anytime she asked, Ellie just said that school and work were stressing her out but no, it was nothing she couldn’t handle. 

But now…

Katherine glanced up at the mirror once more, her stomach twisting as Ellie’s face grimaced back at her. Now here they were again. This was the perfect opportunity to have that window into her daughter’s life that she’d been yearning for of late. But why had it happened again?

She huffed, the sound of Ellie’s voice coming from her mouth startling her just as much as it had the first time. They’d tackled this before. They just needed a plan. 

Priority one: put on some clothes.

Softly, Katherine cracked open the bathroom door and peered out. The lump in Ellie’s bed was still not moving. She crept across the floor, nearly swearing out loud when she stumbled over a discarded pair of pants. 

No need to consider whose those might be and why they were on the ground.

Ellie’s dresser and closet were open and in the weak orangey glow of the street lights, Katherine was able to pick out clean underclothes and a simple outfit for her daughter. She tried to find things she knew Ellie would wear, rather than what stood out to her. Once she was decent, she crept warily back towards the slumbering form in the bed.

Priority two: talk to Ellie.

Ellie’s phone was on the bedside table but when she went to power it up, it was dead. Cursing under her breath, Katherine clutched it, searching for a cable. She needed to talk to her _now_. Before Ellie woke up next to Mike and freaked out.

_Why are we going through this again?_

Katherine took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. It was still very early, Ellie was probably still asleep and none the wiser to their predicament. Katherine tucked the phone into her pocket and tiptoed across the apartment again.

New priority two: find the hourglass.

It had been the cause of this last time. So logically, it was probably to blame this time as well. As to how and why, well, they’d need to figure those out.

She searched vainly in the dark for several minutes but the hourglass was nowhere in sight. After the ordeal they’d gone through to get it, Katherine had decided that letting Ellie keep it was for the best. She didn’t need the reminder of Tom’s eccentricities as much as Ellie needed a reminder of the man her father had been. So she’d returned to Mrs. Time and actually paid for the object (along with two damaged grandfather clocks) and handed it to her sobbing daughter the next day.

She assumed Ellie would have had it with her in New York. After all, she loved that thing more than she did her own phone. But it wasn’t on her bedside table. Or on her desk. Or even tucked away in her closet.

Dejected, she lowered herself back onto the bed, trying not to cry in frustration. It wasn’t here. Which meant it must be back at the house. Where Ellie was. In her body.

Her eyes drifted to Ellie’s still-slumbering guest as she collected herself. She smiled at the slumbering form.

_Ellie spent the night with him…they fell asleep together._

She knew they’d also probably done more than just cuddle but her mind refused to go there.

Despite the situation being out of her control, Katherine still had a sharp sense of guilt to be intruding upon so intimate of a moment for her daughter. Ellie deserved to wake up next to someone she cared about, someone she had previously made love to and was probably in love with, knowing her daughter. She deserved that lazy Saturday lounging in bed with her boyfriend, whispering sweet nothings and sharing kisses. If she remembered correctly, this boyfriend was called Alex.

“El?”

Katherine froze. The warm body was moving. She scrambled away from the bed but the damage was done. Her heart beat out a rapid cadence. 

A nude form shifted, the sheets sliding off of slim curves. “why’re you up so early…?”

As the sheets fell, Katherine found she was unable to look away. Ellie’s body was reacting to the sight and her own mind was having trouble both processing that and coping with what she was witnessing. 

“A…alex?” Ellie’s voice sounded strained.

A smirk. “Duh, who else would it be?” Alex stretched languidly. “Mmmm…I always sleep better in your bed…” It was an innocent enough statement. It was the kind of thing boyfriends said to their girlfriends and vice versa all the time. If any kind of guy were saying that to Ellie, Katherine would have just smiled and basked in the adorable nature of the comment. 

But Alex, it appeared, was a woman. And that was throwing her for more of a loop than waking up in her daughter’s body had.

“Uhhh…” Katherine’s brain had short-circuited. Either that or Ellie’s tongue was tied looking at this beautiful naked woman. She didn’t know which was worse. 

Alex shifted closer, one hand reaching for Ellie’s face. “What’s up El? Don’t tell me you’re getting shy after everything we did last night…” 

Face burning, Katherine shrugged away from the touch, realizing half a second later that her gut reaction was probably out of character for Ellie.

“I jus…I just…” She fumbled, searching desperately for a way out of this situation as Alex eyed her suspiciously. “Phone.” She finally landed on. “Need a charge…have you seen my cable?”

Alex gestured vaguely. “I think it’s in the kitchen…wont you just come back to bed?” The woman pouted and curled her body in a way that was far from innocent. “The sun’s barely up…It’s Saturday…you’ve got nowhere to be…”

Katherine nearly tripped over the discarded pants again as she backed away. “Just…need to check something…” She all but ran to the kitchen, practically sobbing in relief as she spotted the charger lying on the counter. 

She jammed it into the socket and tapped her finger impatiently as the little battery icon lit up the screen. Acutely aware of the naked woman in her daughter’s bed, she wanted nothing more than to retreat into the bathroom again and collect herself. But now, contacting her daughter took top priority.

_Alex is a woman. A WOMAN!_

How had that never come up? For all their closeness after the first switch, they’d never talked about Ellie’s sexuality. Given her obvious infatuation with Adam at the time and her daughter’s subsequent relationship with the boy, Katherine had always assumed that Ellie was as straight as she was. Clearly, that had been a fool’s fancy.

 _But she’s in college…girls experiment in college…hell,_ I _experimented in college!_

Only that couldn’t be it. Ellie had talked about Alex months ago. She’d named her ‘boyfriend’ as this ‘Alex’. Alex had clearly slept in Ellie’s bed before. Experiment or not, this had been going on for awhile.

The shock of finding her daughter was with a woman was wearing off and a deep sense of hurt was replacing it. Katherine stared at the family photo hanging by the sink. They’d taken it just after Ellie’s graduation. In it, the two of them were arm in arm, Ellie laughing and herself gazing at her daughter with overwhelming pride.

_Why didn’t she tell me?_

The phone screen lit up and Katherine lunged for it like a moth to a flame. There were 5 messages on Ellie’s phone. Two were from Monica confirming upcoming plans, one was the text she’d sent Ellie yesterday about her next visit. The other two were from Mike. From this morning.

Hands shaking, Katherine opened the message thread, unnerved that her fingerprint so easily unlocked Ellie’s phone.

`5:08am: Hey kid, you up yet?`

`5:10am: Call me. Now. It’s important.`

Her fingers fumbled, nearly dropping the phone but she punched her husband’s contact and held it to her ear. For two rings, all she could hear was her labored breath.

“Ellie?”

“Mike!?”

“Hey kiddo.”

“Mike…” she tried to keep the relief out of her voice, to sound like how Ellie talked to him, rather than how she spoke to him. “What…What’s up?” She tried, failing to sound natural.

Mike didn’t seem to notice. “I know it’s early…but how soon can you be home?” He asked, all business.

“Why?” Her stomach knotted. “What’s wrong?”

“we don’t…” he sighed, which was never a good sign. Mike never sighed. “something’s happened.”

Her mind raced, going to every worst case scenario possible. “What’s happened?”

“Look, we don’t know anything yet but…something’s happened to your mom.”

Katherine’s heart plummeted. “What’s happened?” She asked again, choking. 

“She wont wake up. The paramedics just took her to the hospital.”

Katherine was afraid. Afraid that something was happening to her body. But now she had to add a second, more potent fear on top of that.

_Did something happen to Ellie?_

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She told him.

“Be careful, kid.” Mike advised her. “We’ll meet you at the hospital.”

Katherine hung up before she could start sobbing to him. She stood staring at the clean dishes piled in Ellie’s drying rack for a long time, trying to collect her whirring thoughts.

_Maybe she’s not in my body? That would explain why I’m not waking up…but then where is she?_

Warm hands wrapped around her waist and she froze. “Problem?” A husky voice murmured in her ear. 

Alex was wrapped around her, kissing her neck. Thankfully, she’d put on the discarded bathrobe. 

Katherine shrugged out of the embrace as best she could. “My..my…mom…” she cleared her throat. “there’s…something happened to my mom. I…I have to go home.” She ignored the flush of heat creeping all over the intimate areas of her daughter’s body from the touch.

Clearly, Ellie was _very_ attracted to this Alex. And that just made this whole thing worse.

In the dim light, she could make out a concerned expression on Alex’s face. “Is she okay? Do you want me to drive you?”

“N..n…we…we don’t know anything yet…” Katherine replied. “And…I…I don’t want to bother you.”

“El, it’s no bother.” Alex took her hand, gently stroking her knuckles. “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

The conviction of that statement caught Katherine off guard. For just a second, her heart melted, glad that Ellie had found someone who so clearly cared about her. But she couldn’t make her mouth work out an appropriate response. Instead, she jerked her head back and forth several times.

It seemed Alex got that message. “Some other time then…” She replied, dropping Katherine’s hand. 

Katherine tried to smile at her but even she could tell it felt forced. She scooped up Ellie’s phone, charger, wallet, and keys. “I’ll…” She swallowed. “I’ll call you?” 

Alex waved a hand, not looking at her. “Go see your mom. We’ll talk later.” The woman sighed. “Can’t wait until I’ve reached the ‘meet the mother’ milestone…” she muttered drily.

A crooked smile split Katherine’s face, as she opened the door. “It might be sooner than you think…”

She slipped out the door and down the stairs before she could see Alex’s reaction.


	2. After All of This

_They danced for hours. After the emotion and stress of switching back into the correct bodies at literally the last possible moment, both Katherine and Ellie were just relieved to be themselves again._

_The reception passed in a blur for Katherine, full of embraces, kisses, and strange dance moves that made her daughter laugh._

_It was only when Tori tapped her arm to inform her that the bouquet toss was coming up that she realized just how long she’d been dancing._

_“Right…thank you.” She patted her assistant on the arm and made her way towards the center of the dance floor. Her head was still spinning after being up all night for the Hunt. But her body (her own body!) felt well-rested and energized. This was a high like she hadn’t had in years._

_She threw the bouquet blindly, not even caring who caught it. She was finally married. And with this last obligation done, everything was well and truly out of her hands._

_Katherine returned to the dance floor, still laughing, searching for her daughter amid the celebrators._

_“Ellie!” Her mirth faded slightly as she caught sight of her at last. Her daughter was on the floor, holding her head. Carl, Monica, and Adam were all hovering around her._

_Katherine sprinted to them, all of her previous joy abandoned. “Ellie! Ellie?” She was at her side in an instant, gripping her arm in support. “Ellie, sweetie, what’s wrong?”_

_“She just fell down…” Monica told her, also gripping Ellie’s arm. “I…I don’t know what happened…”_

_Katherine cupped her daughter’s face. “Ellie…talk to me…”_

_Ellie blinked heavily, eyes unfocused as she looked up. “Mom…?” She sounded delirious. Or drunk. “I…I’m so…” But then she yawned, her jaw gaping open and sagged._

_Katherine smiled with relief. This, she could handle. Waving the others off, she wrapped her arm around Ellie’s waist and drew her close._

_Ellie was simply exhausted. Her body had been up all night, even if she hadn’t been in it to experience the ordeal of the Hunt. And Katherine knew for a fact that Ellie hadn’t slept well the night before since Carl and Monica had been over. Her poor daughter was running on about 5 hours of sleep over the most emotionally intense 48 hours both of them had ever been through._

_Ellie fell heavily against her._

_“Come on, honey…” she whispered, stroking her hair. “Let’s get you home…”_

_***_

_As it turned out, Mike didn’t mind leaving the reception early at all. Or carrying Ellie to and from the car and up to her room._

_Katherine hovered just behind him as he nudged open Ellie’s door and stepped carefully around the mess to place the dozing teen on the bed._

_“There we are…” Mike murmured, patting Ellie’s head. “Sleep it off, kiddo.”_

_Seeing him treating Ellie so gently, something that had been kicking around in her mind the past two days seized her full attention. “Mike…”_

_He turned back to her, waiting to hear what she wanted to say._

_“I…I know yesterday was…” The right word didn’t come easily. She didn’t know everything that Ellie had said to him as her or even if they’d really patched things up since the disaster of a rehearsal dinner. “crazy. But…can I ask for a favor?”_

_Mike smiled gently. “I know the past two days have been hard on you two…do you need some time with her?”_

_Katherine could have married him all over again for his consideration. She settled for kissing him instead. “I know we just got married…” she murmured, placing her forehead against his. “but she needs me right now.”_

_Mike nodded. “I understand.”_

_Katherine glanced at her sleeping daughter. The conversation they’d avoided in the wake of the parent-teacher conference weighed heavily on her. “We…have a lot to talk about that we should have discussed years ago…I don’t want to put her second right now.”_

_“Katie…I get it.” Mike put a hand on her arm. “How long do you need?”_

_“Give us tomorrow.” She asked. “Let me just put her first for tomorrow. Then you and I can be husband and wife.”_

_Mike nodded. “Should I take Fletch?”_

_She kissed him again. “Please. This just needs to be me and her.”_

_He patted her arm. “I’ll grab you some clothes.” Giving Ellie one last smile, he left the room, closing the door softly behind him._

_Ellie murmured and shifted but didn’t wake up as Katherine went to work on her shoes, tossing them aside. Ellie didn’t even resist when Katherine sat her upright so she could unzip and remove the dress. She pulled a long shirt over Ellie’s head and laid her back on the pillow, wiping the makeup from her face with a tissue. Through it all, her daughter remained fast asleep._

_Mike poked his arm back in, an offering of sweatpants and a soft t-shirt dangling from his grip. Katherine took them and gave his hand a small squeeze in thanks. She changed slowly, relishing the familiar contours of her own body again. It was such an odd thing to miss but something she was glad to have back._

_Katherine glanced over at the floor in front of the mirror as she kicked off her shoes. There was no sign of shattered glass, no pink sand, no metal frame. The matching hourglass was still downstairs._

_She shuddered, remembering how the broken object had vanished into nothing._

What the hell were those things, Tom? Why’d you give those to us? __

_They would deal with it in the morning. The day was quickly catching up to her as well. She could tell by the stiffness in her lower back that Ellie had probably slept on the couch the night before, rather than share a bed with Mike. And the stress of that morning still lingered in her face and neck, even if Ellie had been the one to feel it._

_Katherine lifted the covers and lay beside her slumbering daughter. Sleeping so peacefully, Ellie looked like she was ten years old again: all smiles and softness and innocence. Back before Tom had died. Before the anger and the fighting and the ‘I hate yous’. She stroked her daughter’s face, smiling as Ellie murmured something unintelligible. For the first time in a long time, she felt truly in control and certain of the future._

_They’d talk in the morning. They’d be okay._

_Closing her eyes, Katherine drifted off to sleep._


	3. The Last to Know

“Ellie! Ellie!”

Katherine shook herself back to awareness, remembering to answer to the summons. Her memories of the day after their last switch, of that precious time when they had been so close once more, faded back into her mind. 

She turned, having only just located Ellie’s second-hand Buick in the parking lot and found a young woman with bouncy hair running towards her. It took her eyes a second to adjust and her brain a moment to identify the caller. Katherine shook her head, feeling like her head was stuffed with cotton. Ellie clearly hadn’t slept enough the night before.

“Monica! Oh…right…” She remembered the texts on Ellie’s phone but couldn’t for the life of her remember what they had been about. “I’m really sorry, something’s come up…I need to cancel…”

“Oh…?” To her surprise, Monica just raised her eyebrows and grinned. “…did you have Alex over again last night?”

It really shouldn’t have surprised her. Ellie shared everything with Monica and Carl (besides the magical mishap 5 years ago). _Of course she would know._

But the words came out anyway. “Monica…you knew?”

Ellie's best friend rolled her eyes. “Duh…it was _kind of_ obvious when you wouldn’t stop talking about her after chem lab.” Monica grinned at her. “So…was last night the night?”

“No…you knew Ell…” Katherine caught her slip just in time. “you knew…I…was…into women…?”

Monica cocked her head. “El, we talked about this. Senior year, remember? The after-party from the Hunt?” She raised her eyebrows. “When we kissed?”

Katherine barely recalled that time. After experiencing the fun, she’d let her daughter do the Hunt both Junior and Senior year and had agreed to an after-party only if it was in their house and alcohol-free. She and Mike and Fletcher had not attended, leaving the teens to their celebration of their three-year winning streak.

“Right…of course…” She tried not to think back to that day. Had Ellie acted differently since then?

Monica was still talking. “You said it was guys and girls back then…” she frowned, “did that change?”

Katherine shook her head violently. “Oh, no! NO! I definitely still like boys…” But a hot slice of guilt ran through her at her insistence. How was she to know what Ellie preferred? She just kept talking. “I don’t know…maybe this women thing is just a phase…”

Monica looked at her oddly. “Oh…right.” The girl shook herself, something obviously on her mind but she didn’t voice it. “We’ll reschedule then?”

Katherine nodded. 

“Bring Alex next time.” Monica advised her, waving goodbye. “Carl’s eager to meet her!”

Smiling distractedly, Katherine turned away, her mind racing as she fumbled with Ellie’s keys. 

_Was I the only one Ellie didn’t tell? Why? For how long has she kept this secret?_

And did she really want to know the answer?

***  
 _  
There was a bitter taste in her mouth._

_Ellie shifted, finding it difficult to open her eyes. They felt crusty and heavy._

When did I…?

_Vague memories drifted back to her: standing at the altar, her body feeling like hers again, dancing at the reception._

Did I…pass out?

_Slowly, she cracked one eye open. The familiar eaves and mess of her bedroom greeted her. Her hands flew to her torso, feeling for her familiar shape and the piercing at her navel._

I’m me again.

_She giggled._ I’m me!

_She never thought she’d miss her stupid, imperfect body but being her mother (being 45!) for a day had really put things in perspective. It was good to be a kid again. Nothing ached._

_Ellie sat up, noting the long shirt she was wearing as sleep-wear._

_There was an extra pillow next to her. A glass of water sat on her bedside table. She launched herself at it and guzzled it down, the relief instantaneous._

_The glass had been sitting on a note. Turning her head, Ellie read the familiar handwriting._

`Good afternoon Ellie,`  
I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be back soon, just needed to take care of some things. Today is entirely for us. Dress however you want.   
Love,   
Mom 

_Despite the sentiment of the note (and her unexpected eager anticipation of a day with just them) Ellie couldn’t help the cold weight that dropped into her stomach._

_They were finally going to have that Talk. About the switch, about the absences from school, about the piercing. About dad._

_Cold tingles crept all over her body, making her feel that familiar urge to bolt. To run away from school and spend the day wandering the city, visiting all those old places dad used to take her. Places where he’d made her feel safe and happy and loved when it was just them. It was a powerful addiction._

_Ellie threw back the covers, her bare feet pressing hard against the cool floor. But as she made to stand, she saw the dress pooled on the ground._

_Not the black dress she’d been wearing. Her mother’s wedding dress. In a heap. On her floor. She turned to the extra pillow and saw the tell-tale indent of where a head had been resting._

_The realization hit her like a bus:_ she stayed with me. All night. To make sure I was okay.

_Ellie trembled at the unexpected current of emotion that overcame her. At that moment, for the first time in a long time, the urge to curl into her mother’s embrace and be comforted was stronger than the urge to run._

_So she stood and, instead of running, stepped into the shower. She dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and a flannel, choosing clean ones simply because they felt good._

_She ambled downstairs, finding the note from Mike saying that he and Fletcher were going to the amusement park two towns over for the day. And she stayed._

_Twenty minutes later, Katherine came home to find her daughter elbow-deep in a bag of bread, the kitchen counter strewn with the scraps of sandwich condiments._

_“Well I see someone’s hungry.” She teased, setting a large bag on the counter._

_Ellie jumped, her hand darting guiltily from the bag. Katherine laughed. “Glad you’re finally up.” She continued, coming around the counter. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to sleep our whole day away!”_

_“sorry…” Ellie muttered, scuffing the ground with her foot._

_Katherine’s face fell. “Oh honey…that wasn’t a criticism…I just meant…” she made as if to brush Ellie’s hair back but stopped herself. “I wanted to be sure you got all the sleep you needed…”_

_Ellie just grimaced, still refusing to look her in the eye._

_“Ellie?” Katherine pressed, as gently as she could. “What is it?”_

_Her daughter looked up at her, a vulnerability in her eyes that was foreign to both of them. She seemed to be struggling to say something. Her hands fluttered uselessly at her sides._

_But as a mother, Katherine understood instantly. She opened her arms. “Ellie…you never have to ask for a hug.”_

_Her daughter barreled into her, burrowing her face into Katherine’s shoulder. Katherine stroked her hair, humming softly, just like she had when Ellie was a baby._

_Ellie let out a ragged sigh, like she was ejecting all of the stress and emotions of the past two days all at once. She squeezed her mother tightly._

_It was a foreign feeling to them, hugging this tightly and this often. For so long, Ellie had avoided all contact with her mother, even gentle caresses or forehead kisses. But since they’d switched, that barrier to physical contact had all but disintegrated, both of them so comfortable with each other and so glad to be themselves again that they finally realized how starved for contact they’d become._

_“How are you feeling?” Katherine asked her as Ellie pulled away._

_Ellie twisted the sleeve of her shirt and wiped at her eyes. “Still tired…” She mumbled. “What did you_ do _on the Hunt that wiped me out so much?”_

_Katherine smiled at her. “I’ll tell you later.” She came around the counter to pour glasses of orange juice for them both. “It was a great night, I’m sure Monica and Carl will be talking about it for years to come.”_

_Ellie smiled but it looked more like a grimace. “Sounds amazing.”_

_“You’ll get to do it next year.” Katherine assured her. She winked. “Gotta defend our title.”_

_Ellie beamed at that, her first genuine smile of the morning. But it quickly faded._

_“And how are you…emotionally?” Katherine pressed her, handing her a glass._

_Ellie paused for a moment, her forehead wrinkled as she considered her answer._

_“I’m…Worried?” She settled on but then shrugged. “Confused?” She gave Katherine a hopeless gesture. “What even happened to us?”_

_“It’s been a crazy few days…” Katherine agreed. “Let’s get some food and then we’ll figure things out.”_

_Ellie brightened at that. But when Katherine went to open the fridge, she made a noise of protest._

_“Honey?”_

_Ellie gestured at one of the misshapen sandwiches on the counter. “That one’s yours.”_

_Katherine’s eyes widened. “You made me lunch?”_

_Ellie nodded. “It wont be as good as your sandwiches…but I hope you like it…”She nudged the plate forward like a peace offering. “I realized…yesterday…just how much you do for us…me and Fletcher…and…” she swallowed. “and how you don’t have anyone to do things for you…not really.”_

_“Honey…that…” to Ellie’s surprise, it looked like her mother was holding back tears. “thank you.” Katherine finally said. She gave Ellie’s arm a quick squeeze and took the plate to the table._

_The two of them ate in silence for several minutes, occasionally sharing smiles over the poorly-constructed (but still delicious) sandwiches._

_“What are we doing today?” Ellie finally asked as Katherine took the plates to the sink._

_“I had an idea…if you’re okay with it.” Her mother told her._

_Her heart beat uncomfortably. “What is it?”_

_Katherine placed the cleaned dishes in the drying rack and turned back to face her daughter. “Let’s go for a little walk. And we can talk.”_

_Ellie’s face paled at that but she forced herself to nod. “Okay…”_

_“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to…” Katherine assured her. “But I’m here if you_ ever _do. In the meantime…there are some things I want to talk to you about.”_

_“Is one of them about the piercing?” Ellie asked, a smile tugging at her lips._

_Katherine glared at her but without any real anger. “Did you really think I was going to let that go?”_

_“Am I still grounded?”_

_“Maybe…we’ll see.”_


	4. Ev'ry Day

The three hour drive to the hospital in their hometown passed in a flash of a grinding engine, a stuck radio, and numerous ridiculous theories about how they’d switched bodies again. Katherine had given up, both on the radio and the theories after hearing the same country song for the 5th time and remembering that she hadn’t come in contact with any strange herbs recently. But without theories occupying her mind, her thoughts drifted back to Alex, to nudity, to homosexuality. And she didn’t want to focus on that right now.

They had bigger problems.

By the time she entered the hospital, she was so distracted and frazzled that she gave her own name twice at the desk: once as the patient and again as the visitor.

“I…I mean… _Ellie_ Blake, here to see Katherine Blake.” She corrected herself, ignoring the exasperated sigh of the attendant and the stare from the woman at the adjoining desk.

“Room 818.” The desk attendant told her. Katherine hurried off, heart beating steadily as she ran. Her daughter’s youthful body craved the physical distraction so she sprinted up 7 flights of stairs, marveling at Ellie’s athleticism. 

“I guess you’ve been working out, huh Ellie?” She murmured, catching her breath on the landing.

She barreled through the door of Room 818, startling a small crowd of people gathered around a bed. But she barely registered Mike and Fletcher’s faces, or the chastising of the nurse. Because her own comatose body was stretched out on the bed.

Katherine barely internalized what the flitting nurse was saying: _still breathing, bodily functions regular…it’s as if she just decided to not wake up…._

She stepped forward, her heart thudding loudly in her ears, utterly ignoring what the others were saying to her. She touched her own hand. It was warm, alive. That, at least was a small comfort.

She squeezed the hand, screwing her eyes shut as she desperately pleaded:

_Ellie…please…please be okay_

***  
 _  
They walked from the house and down the road, further into the cul-de-sacs and tracks of suburban lands surrounding their home._

_The day was crisp and had a hint of moisture in the air. Ellie buttoned her flannel closed and chastised herself for not wearing a jacket._

_She glanced over at her mother. She hadn’t said anything since they’d left. Ellie couldn’t tell if it was because she was waiting for her to speak or just waiting until they got wherever they were going. Before they’d left, Katherine had grabbed the bag from the counter. It hung heavily off of her shoulder._

_They walked three blocks before Ellie could stand the silence no longer._

_“It was impulsive.” She blurted out._

_Her mom turned to her, seeming surprised that she was talking. “What? What was?”_

_Ellie gestured wordlessly at her navel. “I was skipping Spanish one day and this store downtown was having a sale…I just…wanted to do something without your approval. Something that was just mine.”_

_She lowered her head, ready for the reprimand on how stupid that was, on how she was too young to make decisions like that and that navel piercings were for strippers and porn stars._

_But her mother was nodding. “I can understand that.” She said nothing else and Ellie could make out no signs of righteousness or anger in her face._

_“You’re not mad?” Ellie asked, incredulous. “About it? Or about the skipping?”_

_Katherine glanced at her. “Not so much anymore.” She admitted. “I’m more just curious as to why you did it.”_

_Ellie shrank back slightly. “Do I have to say?”_

_Katherine reached for her hand and gently pried it away from Ellie’s chest. “No. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I’d like to know someday.”_

_She squeezed her hand and continued walking, apparently satisfied with the conversation._

_But Ellie still felt a queasy sensation in her chest and mouth. She couldn’t pull her hand away._

_“it’s not that I don’t_ want _to tell you…” She continued. Katherine paused, tilting her head to show she was listening. “I just…it’s hard to explain. I don’t know_ why _I started. I don’t know_ why _I kept doing it. It just…made me feel like I was in control of_ something _.”_

_Her impulse in her bedroom to run from this conversation floated back to her and she gripped the hand in hers tightly to keep herself in place. Drawing a shaky breath, Ellie finally told the truth._

_“…it…made me feel closer to dad.”_

_“_ Running away _from school made you feel closer to him?”_

_Ellie nodded, anger already curling in her gut from the judgment in those words._ Here we go… __

_But her mother didn’t say anything else. And that punctured Ellie’s anger like a popped balloon._

_Instead Katherine just tugged her hand. “We’re here.”_

_Ellie looked up, seeing familiar wrought-iron gates and manicured grass. Curved stones in knobby little rows._

_Her heart stuttered and she nearly collapsed. “No…no…” They hadn’t come back here since the funeral. Not even once during her days playing hooky had she even considered coming down here. Dad wasn’t down there. He was in all the happy memories. All the good times._

_A sturdy hand on her back kept her from pitching over completely. “Ellie…it’s okay. I’m here…I wont force you…” Katherine stroked her hair back. “But I think it’s time.” Her face was set but Ellie could see the desperation in her eyes. This was just as hard for her. But she was trying._

__Don’t I owe her that? __

_Ellie’s heart was racing and her mouth was dry with fear. But she had to at least try. Dad would have wanted her to try. Her mother was asking her to try._

_Ellie took her mother’s hand and together, they walked into the cemetery._

_The long walk past the graves grated on them both and Ellie found herself slowly drifting closer to her mother until they were pressed together, hands clasped tightly._

_“Have you come back before?” Ellie asked, as they passed their 15th row of stones._

_“No.” Katherine admitted. “This is my first time since the funeral.”_

_Ellie gave her hand a tiny squeeze at that and got a soft smile in return._

_Moments later, they both stopped._

_They said nothing as they stared down at the stone in front of them._

__

Tom Blake  
1971-2013  
Beloved husband and father.   
Never forget that nothing is forever.  


_Ellie expected her mom to say something. But she didn’t. She just gripped Ellie’s arm tighter and pressed her lips together._

_They stood together in silence for a long time, staring at the headstone like it held some coveted answer._

_After a long moment, Ellie finally spoke._

_“I…I miss him…so much.” She choked out._

_Katherine nodded. “Me too.”_

_“I think Mike is great. But I don’t want to forget Dad.” Ellie admitted._

_“We wont.”_

_It was gratifying, to hear her mother say the same thing Mike had._

_Katherine opened the bag on her shoulder and pulled out a bouquet of lilies. Wordlessly, she extended them to her daughter._

_Ellie placed her hand over her mother’s and together they laid the flowers on his grave._

_As they stepped back, Ellie let her head fall on her mother’s shoulder. Katherine turned her head and kissed her forehead gently._

_“I’m so sorry Ellie…” She murmured. “Truly, I am.”_

_“For what?”_

_“I wasn’t there for you.”_

_“Mom…”_

_“Ellie…” Her mother cut her off, her voice sharp. “You were hurting. And I just left you…”_

_Ellie pulled back slightly, so she could look her mother in the face. “You were hurting too.” She said softly. Two days ago, she wouldn’t have been able to see it. But now, she didn’t know how she had been blind enough to miss it._

_Katherine was shaking her head, completely focused on the grave. “But I didn’t even think to ask you if you were okay. I just left you alone to deal with all of your feelings about his death.”_

_Ellie tried to laugh but it sounded more like she was choking. “I probably wouldn’t have told you anyway…”_

_“Still…I wasn’t a very good mother to you then.” Katherine blinked hard, her fists clenching at her sides. “I want to be now.”_

_“Mom…”_

_She didn’t know what to say. Sure her mom hadn’t been perfect but after what they’d just gone through, she could hardly call her a terrible mother. For a long time, Ellie stood next to her mother, searching the woman’s tense form and wishing she could say the magic words to make her relax again. Why didn’t she know what to say?_

_“Ellie…” Katherine finally said after a long silence. She swallowed hard and turned to face her daughter. “I know you have good reasons for doing what you did. I may not agree with all of them…but I know you had your reasons…so help me understand them.” She took Ellie’s hands in a tight grip. “Please. I’m here now. I want to listen. I want to understand you.”_

_Mouth stuck, Ellie could only nod in agreement. There was so much to tell. But she just wasn’t ready._

_Katherine reached inside the bag again. She withdrew the hourglass._

_“I went back to the store.” She told a gaping Ellie. “I wanted to buy this back. Officially. I know your dad gave it to me originally but…I want you to have it.” She extended it to her, repeating the gesture that had started them down this path._

_“Mom…” Ellie hesitantly placed her hand on it, anticipating another burst of crazy magic to switch them again. But nothing happened. In this moment, it was just an hourglass._

_Katherine released it and for just a brief moment, Ellie swore the pink sand inside glowed slightly._

_Ellie hugged the thing to her chest, the metal warm under her fingertips._

_“Thank you…”_

_Katherine pulled her into another side-hug. “He loved you very much Ellie…he would be so proud of you. And so am I.”_

_The simple statement flipped some kind of switch. Her tears were suddenly loose and heavy on her face._

_“Mom…”_

_To her surprise, Katherine was crying too._

_Ellie gently touched her arm. “Mom…?” The simple touch made her mother come undone in a way she’d never seen before. Katherine sagged, her head coming to rest on Ellie’s shoulder. Ellie could feel the tears soaking into her flannel._

_“I…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Ellie…”_

_She wrapped her arms around her mother, the sounds of the woman’s quiet whimpers making her feel simultaneously both so young and so old. It was unsettling, watching her mother cry so heavily._

_It took them both some time to regain their composure. Katherine slowly pulled away from Ellie and cleaned her face with a tissue. Ellie sniffled, feeling like a ragged hole in her chest was finally ceasing to bleed. It still had a long way to go to heal. But today was a start._

_“I’m here for you Ellie…always. No matter what.”_

_They had both done far too much crying._

_“I know. Thank you.” She pulled her mother into another tight hug. “I’m here for you too…mom. We’ll get through this…and everything else…together.”  
_

***

Katherine snapped out of her intense focus on her comatose form when a gentle hand squeezed her shoulder. 

Mike gave her a wry smile, so different from the ones he reserved only for her. “I need to go deal with some paperwork…and Fletch is going to the cafeteria…” Katherine saw her son darting from the room and wondered how he was doing. But she couldn’t talk to him. Not as Ellie.

“You gonna be okay with her on your own?” Mike asked. 

Katherine gave a shaky nod. “C…can I get a hug?”

Mike obliged, pulling her into a firm, fatherly embrace. Katherine nearly broke down; both from how much she missed the way he hugged her as herself and from the realization that even in such a short time, he’d achieved this level of comfort and trust with her daughter.

“I…I’m scared.” She admitted into his shirt.

He pulled back to look into her eyes. “She’s going to be fine.” He assured her. “Talk to her. I’ll be right back.” With one final squeeze, he was gone. 

As the nurse flitted out, Katherine was left alone with her own unmoving body.

Screwing up her courage, she reached forward and took her body’s hand again. She probably wouldn’t get another chance to be alone with ‘herself’ like this. She had to make the most of it.

“Ellie…” she began, her voice soft, “honey if you can hear me, you need to wake up.” There was no change. Katherine squeezed the hand under hers harder. “Please honey…please just let me know that you’re okay…” 

Still nothing. Her throat started to seize up but she pushed through. “I’m here for you. Whatever it is, whatever’s happened to make us switch again…we can get through it. Together.” She fell against the hospital bed, tears flowing freely now. “Just please…Ellie…please wake up.”


	5. Researchers of Trans-Corporeal Exchange

You cant hide forever.

_Shut up._

I don’t recommend it. It gets boring very quickly.

_I’m not listening._

You live in constant fear of exposure, fear of things catching up to you, fear of a lack of suitable entertainment…

_I said SHUT UP!_

No, Ellie. You need to face this.

_No!_

You need to wake up.

_No…_

“Ellie…Ellie, wake up…”

***

Katherine jerked back at the gentle prodding on her shoulder. 

“Sorry! Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you!” A slim woman smiled down at her. “I just…” The woman took a deep breath. “I was wondering if I could talk to you?”

Katherine rubbed her eyes, taking a moment to consider the woman. They were still alone in the room together, not counting her comatose body. She seemed friendly enough, and she was dressed in hospital scrubs with a proper ID tag around her neck. A pair of square-rimmed glasses were perched on her nose, just far enough from her eyes to be useful. Her dirty-blonde hair was swept back in a distinct punk-rocker style.

Looking at her, Katherine had the fleeting thought that Ellie might like this woman.

“Sure.” She replied. “What about?”

The woman nodded. “I know today’s a _difficult_ day,” she began, “but…I may be able to offer some insight.”

Katherine sat up, now very interested. “You know how to wake her up?” She squeezed the hand she was holding but still felt no response.

“Well…no.” The woman admitted. “That’s not what I was referring to…” She scratched the back of her head, her face screwed up like she couldn’t decide what to say next.

“Let’s try this again…” She finally settled on. “My name’s Anna. Anna Coleman. I’m studying a particular kind of phenomena and I think you and your…mother are the perfect candidates for my research.”

Katherine raised an eyebrow, her suspicions awakening. “What kind of research?” She wasn’t going to let them experiment on her daughter’s body. Nor her own. Especially not if her daughter might be inside it.

“Nothing invasive.” Anna assured her, seeming to pick up on her reservation. She shifted and took another deep breath. “I study an event known as trans-corporeal exchange.” 

“Which means…?”

Anna smirked. “In lay-man’s terms:” she focused Katherine with a level gaze. “switching bodies.”

There was absolutely no jest in her tone. 

Katherine’s heart skipped several beats. “Wh…what?” She finally replied, trying to sound incredulous. “Like…souls changing bodies?…that…that’s…absurd…” Even her denial felt weak. Her old fear resurfaced: what if they were locked in a psych ward? Studied as oddities? This would ruin her daughter’s life. It would destroy their family.

Anna fixed her with a piercing gaze. Suddenly she didn’t seem so friendly anymore. “I know you’re really Katherine.” She accused.

“W…what?”

The woman gestured at the comatose body on the bed. “That’s Ellie, isn’t it? You two switched bodies.”

Katherine squeezed the hand in hers tighter. “How…? How could you possibly know that?”

“Well, for starters, you checked in at reception as Katherine, before you caught yourself. Then you signed the paperwork as Katherine anyway. And I also overheard you talking about _Ellie’s_ athleticism on the stairs.”

Katherine forced a laugh. “That’s…absurd…”

Anna’s face softened. “Also, I heard you call her _Ellie_ just now.” She gestured at Katherine’s body. “Please…I just want to help.”

The remainder of Katherine’s denials dried up on her tongue. If this woman seemed to believe in the possibility, why keep up the pretense?

She took a deep breath. “And…this doesn’t just seem like we’re crazy to you.” She replied.

Anna smiled, seeming gratified that Katherine was no longer denying it. “No. My mother’s a psychologist. I know the signs of ‘crazy’.”

“But it’s still _impossible_ …” Katherine argued, “why do you believe us?”

Anna sighed, gazing down at Katherine’s body. “Because it happened to me and my mom as well.” She turned back to Katherine. “Once, about 20 years ago.”

Katherine’s heart dropped into her stomach. “How?” She rose and came around the side of the bed. Suddenly, this whole thing seemed just the slightest bit less daunting. “How did it happen?” Perhaps this Anna had another hourglass, or something else that could help them.

“Some ancient Chinese voodoo or something…” Anna shrugged, “they would never tell us how it worked.”

The utter randomness of that statement caught Katherine completely off-guard. 

_What?_

“They wouldn’t give me answers.” Anna continued, “so I looked for my own as best I could. Read up on sudden shifts in personality, watched for subtle clues in people…”

“So what…” Katherine interrupted, feeling lost. “so you just hang around a hospital, waiting for people like us to come in?”

Anna nodded, “Actually…yes.” She smirked. “Turns out today was my lucky day.”

“So you’ve seen this before?” Katherine demanded, gesturing between her body and Ellie’s. “This kind of…switching?”

Anna’s smirk became somewhat sheepish. “Well…not in anyone else. Like I said, it happened to me and my mom once. Then I’ve found some unconfirmed archival cases from the past few decades…” her smile faded as she watched Katherine’s face. “Sorry. This phenomena is very hard to study. If it’s happened to many others, they keep quiet about it.”

Katherine let out a harsh bark of laughter. “Yes, I imagine they do…” She sagged against the bed, rubbing her face.

“But still,” Anna continued, “I’m here, I’m invested. Maybe I can help in some way?”

Katherine just shrugged helplessly. “Do you know why it happened this time?” She asked.

Anna cocked her head. “This time?” 

Katherine gestured between them. “We switched one other time, about 5 years ago…with a magic hourglass.”

“An hourglass?” Anna’s eyes widened. “Interesting…” She pulled a chair close to the bed and sat right in front of Katherine. “Please…tell me everything.”

And so she did. Katherine let it all come pouring out: the fights they’d had since Tom's death, the magical wish that had them swapping bodies, the Hunt to find the other hourglass, the last-minute switch-back, and their new beginning.

It was only as she started to describe how they’d changed after the switch that Katherine realized this was the first time she’d ever told the whole story, even to Ellie or herself.

“Fascinating…” Anna had produced a notebook at some point and was scribbling copious notes. “It’s so different from my experience…”

Katherine couldn’t respond, her throat was closing up with tears.

“Hey…” Anna shifted forward, her notes abandoned to comfort her. “Hey, it’s okay. I know it’s a hard day, but you’ll get through it.”

Katherine tried to smile but only ended up crying harder. Having someone, _anyone_ to talk to about this, even a virtual stranger just felt so refreshing. “Why is this happening again?” She demanded, gesturing between them. “Why isn’t she awake?”

Both of them glanced over at Katherine’s body. 

“I’m afraid I don’t know…” Anna admitted. “Like I said, this kind of phenomena is extremely hard to study. Not many volunteers come forward.” 

“So what do we do?”

Anna sighed. “I wish I had an answer for you.” She leaned back, observing the monitor reading Katherine’s body’s vitals. “My best advice is to find that hourglass again and do what you did last time.”

“That’s the problem.” Katherine shot back. “Even if I knew where it was…we were both here last time.”


	6. Growth

_It turns out that having an outlet like_ Down the Aisle _write a feature on your self-designed wedding was both a blessing and a curse._

_A blessing because of the instant boost it gave to_ Perfection Catering _with name recognition and orders quadrupling from previous years._

_A curse because Katherine had really not been prepared for this at all._

_Of course she had planned to make a lot of changes after the wedding, anticipating some additional business from the story. But she had never imagined that this much would come from it._

_“Well…” Ellie had said, as they read over the issue together. “I made you look good.”_

_Katherine had walloped her gently with the rolled up magazine. “You called me a control freak. But yes, you did.”_

_Now, thanks to her daughter’s radically honest and touching portrayal about being a single mother and a small business owner she had a vacuum in her financial ledger. The money was finally there to do everything she’d ever wanted. But none of the support system was._

_Katherine pushed her glasses up on her forehead and groaned. The pile of papers in front of her had only grown since that morning. She had somehow made negative headway._

_There were additional chefs and waiters to hire, new food to order, new dishes to plan, properties to inspect for her eventual headquarters…_

_And with Torrey off taking her licensing exams (in couple’s therapy, of all things…), Katherine was facing it alone._

_“I’m home!”_

_Startled by the shout, Katherine glanced over at the clock. It was 3pm already?!_

_Ellie came into the dining room, already munching on potato chips. “Mom?” her eyes widened at the sight of the table. “You…okay?”_

_“I’m fine honey…” She insisted, shuffling a stack of resumes aside. “Just…working.”_

_She tried not to get distracted again as Ellie watched her work._

_The remainder of Ellie’s sophomore year had passed uneventfully. With all of her absences, Ellie had done several classes in summer school but with her newfound attitude and love of being young, she’d worked hard and excelled enough to put herself back on track._

_Now a few weeks into her junior year, the sensations of their switch were starting to fade into distant memory. Katherine no longer remembered what it had felt like to not have to worry about throwing her back out. Ellie had stopped watching her attitude so closely and gone back to slouching, despite Katherine’s gentle reminders. But the bond had remained. Communication was open between them again and they remembered to listen._

_Ellie had drifted closer and was now examining the piles of paper under Katherine’s elbow._

_“Can I…help at all?” She asked._

_Katherine nearly scoffed but caught herself just in time. “I…thank you, honey. But I don’t even know where to start…” She sighed, pulling her glasses back down. “There are so many applicants and I can’t narrow them down at all.”_

_Ellie sat herself down next to her, shoving the last of her chips into her mouth. “Well, why not start by grouping them by experience?” She asked, spraying chip crumbs over several papers._

_Katherine frowned but only brushed the offending crumbs away. “What do you mean??”_

_“You need people with at least what, 2 years of culinary experience?” Ellie asked, pulling a stack of resumes towards her._

_Katherine resisted the urge to pull the papers back. “Yes, 2 years is the standard for a new line chef hire…” She sighed. “But then I need sous chefs and a new head chef.”_

_“No problem,” Ellie assured her, flipping through the stack and already pulling out several papers. “Here are the ones for less than 5 years experience and here are the ones with line work experience and those with both.” She pulled another stack to her. “Now we can do something similar for the sous chefs and the head chef.”_

_Katherine paused. “Well…I suppose that could work…”_

_They worked side-by-side for an hour and at the end of it, Katherine felt much better. The stacks of paper were finally organized and several had actually been taken off the table._

_Throughout the process, Katherine found herself watching her daughter with growing admiration. She had several unconventional ideas that Katherine found incredibly helpful for managing the workload. Ellie had always been introverted but she clearly excelled in organization and creative perspectives on problems. When had that happened?_

_“I need to start dinner.” Katherine said at the end of the hour, as they packed the last of the papers into her boxes._

_Ellie leaped up. “Let me help!” She insisted._

_“Don’t you have homework?” Katherine teased her as they entered the kitchen._

_“Did it in study hall.” Ellie replied, handing her an apron and picking one for herself. “And before you ask, Mon, Carl, and Adam are all busy.” She stuck out her tongue. “You’re stuck with me.”_

_Katherine laughed. “Their loss.”_

_They made lasagna, Katherine handling most of the difficult work but letting Ellie try her hand at layering the pasta in place. To her surprise, Ellie actually wasn’t half bad at it._

_“How would you feel about working with me next summer?” She asked, as Ellie laid another row of only slightly-crooked noodles._

_Ellie raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that nepotism?”_

_“Only if I give you control of something in the company.” Katherine picked up the finished dish. “I was thinking more of a due-diligence low-level internship.”_

_Ellie considered it briefly. “Maybe…looks like you could use the help if Torrey actually quits…”_

_“I may have to force her to quit.” Katherine admitted, “I hope she realizes she cant be my assistant and a full-time couple’s therapist…”_

_“Mom…” Ellie deadpanned. “I really dont think she does.”_

_Katherine sighed._

_They placed the lasagna in the oven and Katherine fully expected Ellie to take her leave then. But her daughter remained, taking her time washing up and even folding her apron correctly._

_Katherine frowned. Something was up. Ellie never folded clothes._

_“Honey?” She asked. “Is everything alright?”_

_“Hmm?” Ellie glanced around as if Katherine had caught her lost in thought. “Yes! Of course! Why wouldn’t it be?” She grinned but it didn’t fool Katherine for a second._

_“You’re stalling.” She accused her._

_It was a word that was coming into use more often with them. Initially, Ellie had been the one to coin it, when she caught Katherine dawdling unnecessarily because she’d wanted to talk about something switch-related. Since then, it had become short-hand for one of them wanting to talk about anything alone with the other._

_Ellie grimaced at the word but didn’t make any indication of denial._

_“It’s not about…that day…” Ellie began. “But…I did want to talk about something.”_

_Katherine nodded. “Okay, I’m listening.”_

_“It…well…” Ellie bit her lip. “It’s about Adam.”_

_Katherine’s brow furrowed. Adam and Ellie had been dating for the better part of the last five months and they were clearly getting along well. It wasn’t often that Katherine heard Ellie complain about the boy. He’d even been over for dinner several times and had gotten along well with the entire family (due in no small part to both Katherine and Fletcher already liking him a lot)._

_“What happened?” Katherine asked. She tried not to jump to any conclusions. Adam was a nice, respectable boy. She’d seen that for herself._

_Ellie grimaced. “He told me…” She let out a deep breath. “he…he loves me.”_

_Katherine wanted to smile, to hug her daughter and celebrate the milestone but something wasn’t sitting right with her. Ellie was clearly not as excited about this as she should be._

_“He…” Here, Ellie paused, and Katherine recognized the face her daughter used when contemplating if she was ready to speak._

_She waited, the feeling in her stomach only intensifying._

_Ellie fiddled with her sleeve, taking a full minute of rapt silence before finally whispering: “he…wants to have sex.”_

_Katherine fought to not immediately shout her disapproval. For as much as she liked Adam for his sweetness and gentility, she hated him in that moment beyond words._

_“He does…” She began slowly, fighting hard to keep her contempt from her voice. She swallowed hard, “and…do…” she had to steel herself before finishing. “…do you?”_

_Ellie looked up at her and in that moment, Katherine remembered what it had been like to be seventeen._

_She remembered their switch with unparalleled clarity; especially the power of those teenage urges and hormones. Even though she’d felt no romantic feelings towards Adam, Ellie’s body had been a lightning rod of sensation around him. It threw her back to her old memories of being so young, so uncertain about her own body and desires, unsure if she wanted that kind of intimacy yet but unwilling to deny it._

_She saw the same fears, and the same determination in her daughter’s eyes now._

_Old paranoia crept in: fears of unwanted pregnancies ruining her daughter’s life, fears of her getting hurt from jumping too soon, fears of her being underwhelmed and the moment not being special._

_“Ellie…” She took a second to collect herself, mind racing as she tried to think of the best way to handle this. Saying the wrong thing now could drive a wedge between them that she wasn’t willing to have back in their lives._

_She took her daughter’s hand. “Come on, let’s talk.”_

_They crossed back into the dining room, Katherine absentmindedly stroking Ellie’s hand as she thought about what to say._

_They sat at the table once more, neither one speaking and Ellie looking like she regretted saying anything._

_Katherine couldn’t bear looking at that expression._

_“When I was you…” she began, “It…brought back a lot of old memories. Old sensations.”_

_Ellie blinked. “Okay…”_

_Katherine bit her lip, embarrassment creeping up her spine. “I remembered what it was like to be young…to be…” she glanced away. “…horny.”_

_Ellie’s face twisted in disgust and embarrassment. “MOM!”_

_“I’m just being honest!”_

_“Still! I dont want to hear about…that!”_

_“You think I want to talk about this!?”_

_Ellie’s fury evaporated. Slowly, she removed her hands from her ears. “Don’t you?” She asked in a small voice._

_Katherine realized her mistake a second later. “Ellie…sweetie…” She sighed heavily, reaching for Ellie’s hands. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean that I don’t care. I know even as close as we are now this is still not a conversation you may feel entirely comfortable having with me…” She grimaced and squeezed her hands. “But we need to..have it.”_

_Ellie nodded._

_“Adam’s a nice boy…” Katherine began. “And he really cares about you…but you just started dating him…I know it feels like time is of the essence but trust me on this…dont rush into sex. Wait until you truly feel ready. You’ll be glad you waited no matter if he’s the One or not…”_

_Ellie considered her words. “Is that what you and dad did?” She finally asked._

_Katherine recalled her first date with Tom, the way he’d kissed her and held her like he’d finally found something he’d been searching a long time for. “Your father and I…we were…patient.” That at least was true. Not for Tom’s lack of trying._

_Ellie tilted her head. “What does that mean?”_

_Katherine tweaked her daughter’s nose. “It means I didn’t have you in college due to an accident.”_

_“Ew! Mom!” Ellie batted her hand away. “I’m declaring the subject of you and dad having sex to be taboo between us!”_

_Katherine laughed, feeling the tension between them melt ever so slightly. “Fine. But then I assume my sex life with Mike is fair game?”_

_“MOOOOOOMMMM!!!!”_

_Winking, Katherine stood up. “Come on, let’s get the table set.”_

_“Wait.”_

_Rounding the table, Ellie wrapped her arms around Katherine’s waist and drew her into a tight hug. “Love you, mom…” She murmured, just loud enough for her to hear._

_Katherine hugged her back. In this moment, she was so grateful for their switch. Without it, she didn’t want to think about how she would have handled this moment: a shouting match, an angry declaration, followed by inevitable emotional harm to her daughter as she chased what was forbidden._

_She rested her chin on Ellie’s head._

_If they could talk about this…they could talk about anything._

_Right?_


	7. What just happened?

When Mike and Fletcher returned to the room, Katherine had only just managed to wipe the last of the tears from Ellie’s eyes. 

Anna, for her part, sprang up immediately, effectively giving Katherine two seconds to set her face.

“Hello! No changes to report I’m afraid…”

Mike glanced over at Katherine (Ellie to him). “Everything okay?” He asked, gaze shifting between the two women.

Katherine tried to nod. “Yes…” She rose, walking to his side. “Ms. Coleman here was just telling me about what the hospital can do for me…err…for MOM, while she’s…out.”

Anna shot her a look at the slip but Mike didn’t seem to catch it. Katherine hardly cared. Her head felt heavy from all the crying.

Anna turned back to the men. “Call me Anna.” She insisted, holding out her hand for Mike to shake. “I work here.” She offered her hand to Fletcher as well but the teenager didn’t take it.

Undeterred, Anna proceeded to distract them both with some long-winded, boring-sounding explanation of her official role at the hospital. Katherine tuned her out. 

She stared down at her body, heart aching at the impossible task before them.

_I meet a woman with first-hand experience in this and she still can’t help us. We need that hourglass…_

She touched her own hand again. Her heart flooded with a kind of resolve she hadn’t felt since Tom had died. As daunting as it was, she couldn’t fail. She squeezed her warm fingers.

_I’m going to fix this, Ellie. I promise._

A bright pink spark leapt between their hands, accompanied by the sensation of a powerful static shock.

Katherine hissed and ripped her hand back.

_What the…?_

“Ellie?” Mike called. “You okay kid?” Everyone in the room was looking at her. 

She shook her hand, unable to banish the uncomfortable feeling. “Fine…I’m…fine…” But her head was swimming. The pressure from her crying spell was intensifying.

Something didn’t feel right…

She blinked hard and at that exact moment, saw her body’s eyes flutter.

_Ellie…?_

“Ellie? Ellie!” Mike’s hand was on her shoulder. Fletcher was shouting something.

Katherine felt herself hit the floor. Then everything went black.

***

_Ellie…where is Ellie?_

She forced her eyes open, everything coming into focus slowly. The room was off-white and sterile. She tried to move and felt familiar pulls in her legs and shoulders from protesting muscles. The hand under the covers darted to her stomach, feeling at her navel. Nothing was there.

Relief washed over her, so intense that she had to sigh.

_I’m back…I’m me!_

_But where’s Ellie?_

She gazed around the room, blinking hard. Mike and Anna were crouched on the floor near the end of the bed, hovering over something. Fletcher burst back into the room, a nurse hot on his heels.

Katherine struggled to sit up, to see what they were gathered around.

A thin form was stirring feebly on the floor, her head cradled by Mike’s gentle hand. 

“Ellie…” Her voice felt coarse, like she’d been gargling with sand. “Ellie…”

Every eye in the room darted to her, except her daughter’s fluttering ones.

“Katie…” Mike’s eyes flooded with relief. In a rare moment of emotion, Fletcher ran forward and embraced her tightly. Katherine squeezed her teenage son back but struggled to look around him. She had to know that Ellie was alright.

“Ellie…Ellie.”

To her relief, Ellie was stirring more, looking like she was slowly coming to. 

Supported by Mike, her daughter slowly sat up, blinking quickly and looking around in confusion. Her eyes finally landed on Katherine in the hospital bed. “…mom?”

She was on her feet in an instant, stumbling towards the bed. “Mom! Mom!” Mike and Anna caught her under the arms as she staggered, holding her head. 

“Ellie…sweetie,” Katherine leaned forward as far as the machines would let her and gripped her daughter’s hand. “it’s alright…everything’s fine. We’re back…”

But her reassurances didn’t seem to be calming Ellie down. If anything, they seemed to be freaking her out more. “What’s going on?” Ellie asked, eyes darting around the room. “How’d I get here?” 

Mike and Fletcher gave her an odd look. Anna raised an eyebrow and gave Katherine a look instead. _Welcome back_. She mouthed.

“Don’t you remember, honey?” Katherine prompted Ellie, giving her hand a firm squeeze. “Mike must’ve called you when I passed out…then you must have driven here.” Her eyes pleaded with Ellie to play along. 

Ellie nodded slowly, glancing from face to face. “Right…I…sorry…long day…”

Mike didn’t look totally convinced but he didn’t say anything. He silently examined Ellie for a few seconds. 

Drawing back from his stare, Ellie turned to Katherine with a question in her eyes. 

“You remember your father’s old hourglass?” Katherine mentioned casually. She hoped Anna would get the hint to remove the others from the room. No such luck. The researcher was watching the exchange hungrily. “It’s the darndest thing;” Katherine continued, squeezing Ellie’s cold hand again. “I couldn’t find it…”

Ellie still seemed confused. “Why would you…?” But then her eyes widened and she fell silent. She looked at her with another question in her eyes. Katherine answered this one with a nod. She wasn’t able to stop the hot rush of blood to her face. 

Katherine winced as Ellie gasped. She was realizing just what Katherine would have woken up to. The nudity. The woman in her bed.

Katherine saw the fear in her daughter’s eyes. She wanted nothing more than to soothe her in that moment, to assure her that everything was fine, that she didn’t care one way or another or think any less of her and her daughter was perfect just the way she was.

But the words wouldn’t come. Not with Mike and Fletcher and Anna all crammed into the room and the nurses clucking away at her “sudden recovery.”

Ellie turned from Katherine, her face closing off entirely, her hair falling over her eyes. She pulled her hand away and curled it close to her chest.

In that moment, Katherine knew she’d failed her.

And she didn’t know how to fix it.


	8. The Missing Hourglass

The drive back to New York was silent. Even her crappy radio couldn’t provide a distraction from her spiraling thoughts.

Ellie spent so much of the trip tightly gripping the steering wheel that she gave herself a headache before she’d even reached the bridge. 

Their parting at the hospital had been stiff, almost formal, since Katherine had had to deal with getting officially discharged. Ellie hadn’t been able to look her mother in the eye. Katherine had made no effort to look at her either.

It hurt more than she was willing to admit.

Ellie managed to make it back into the parking garage near her apartment without thinking about it. But she’d barely slammed her door behind her when everything hit her all at once. 

_Why? Why? WHY?_

Tears gathered in her eyes as she sank back against the door. 

She wasn’t ready for this. Wasn’t ready to share this uncertain portion of her life. Especially not with her mother. 

But all that was out of her hands now. Her mom knew. Her mom had woken up next to her girlfriend…

_OH god…_ Ellie realized, her heart rate spiking. _I was naked._ Alex _was naked._

The thought sent anxious little tingles of energy pulsing through her.

Across the room, the shades banged heavily against the windows.

Ellie breathed rapidly, trying to calm herself down. It was a long process. And it got worse every time. Her hands shook, even as she clenched them, trying to keep that nervous energy tamped down. She squeezed her eyes shut as the lights in her ancient apartment flickered unsteadily. 

_Come on…come on…_

Eventually, she calmed enough to look around her sanctuary.

It was late afternoon by this point and her apartment was quiet and stuffy. Alex was long gone, along with any possible chance of fixing whatever her mother had said to her that morning. But as upsetting as that was, right now, Ellie had another more pressing concern.

Ellie pushed herself off of the door and tore through her apartment like a madwoman: knocking things over and upending piles of clothes, stacks of books, and heaps of art supplies. She wasn’t very neat, but she generally knew where everything was. And the hourglass had always had a place of honor right next to her bed. 

But she could see even from the other side of the apartment that it wasn’t in its proper place.

_Where is it?_

She tore open her closet and riffled through it, tossing things willy-nilly around the room.

Her anxiety only spiked again as the disarray grew and the object of her obsession remained missing.

She had to find that hourglass. 

***

_The door slammed behind them but Katherine was already half-way into her tirade._

_“You deliberately disobeyed me!”_

_Ellie scowled back at her, folding her arms. “Because you were being unreasonable!”_

_Mike ushered Fletcher from the room as Katherine and Ellie squared off. The chilly February air crackled with tension as mother and daughter glared at each other._

_On the hall table, the hourglass sat squarely between them, where it had remained since that fateful day almost a year ago._

_“How was I being unreasonable?” Katherine demanded. “I said you couldn’t go to an unsupervised party on a school night! You snuck out! And then went to said unsupervised party!”_

_“I can handle myself!” Ellie shouted back. “The party wasn’t even that rowdy! It was just some nosy neighbors calling the cops!”_

_Katherine massaged her temples. “There was alcohol, Ellie. You could have been arrested!”_

_“I didn’t drink any! I’m not an idiot!”_

_“Just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you’re excused for doing stupid things!”_

_Ellie scoffed, anger curling so tightly in her chest she felt like she couldn’t breathe. “I can’t believe you! I thought we were past this! I hate...!” But she forcefully bit off the last word, nearly choking._

_Katherine deflated instantly, seeing the immediate change the sentiment brought to her daughter._

_Ellie’s eyes widened with horror at what had almost come tumbling out in her moment of anger._

_In the abrupt silence, the hourglass flared a brilliant green color, the sand within swirling in a miniature cyclone._

_Both of them flinched, backing away from the object. “What’s happening?” Katherine demanded._

_Ellie shook her head. “I don’t know…its never done that before…”_

_Instinctively, Katherine stepped in front of Ellie. The green light falling on her skin made her look sickly and far older than she was._

_It terrified Ellie._

_Slowly, the green glow faded, the sand settling down but remaining a gross shade of green instead of its usual pink._

_Breathing hard, Katherine turned around._

_“Ellie?”_

_But she was shaking so badly she couldn’t respond._

_In two quick motions, Katherine was pulling her into a tight hug._

_Ellie collapsed against her. Katherine stroked her hair gently. “Ellie…Ellie, it’s alright…”_

_She could only clutch the front of her mother’s jacket and cry harder. “Mommy…”_

_Katherine shushed her gently, holding her. For a long time, they just stood there, embracing._

_Ellie swallowed several times before her voice began to work again. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry.”_

_“I’m sorry too.”_

_Ellie pulled back slightly, looking at her mother in surprise._

_“I should have trusted you.” Katherine brushed back her hair. “Honey…we’re still going to argue.” she reasoned, “You’re still going to get angry with me, I’m still going to get frustrated by you. But we will get through it. So long as we keep talking and listening to each other.”_

_Ellie nodded, her gaze dropping to the floor. Her stomach felt like someone had filled it with sand. “I…no matter how angry I get, I don’t want you to ever think that I hate you.”_

_Katherine’s face tightened. “Oh honey…” She pulled her into another tight embrace. “I know you don’t hate me. Don’t be sorry for being angry with me. It’s going to happen…I’m going to mess up occasionally.” Ellie curled her hands around her shoulders, burying her face in Katherine’s shoulder. “But I trust that if I ever do mess up so much that you actually hate me, you will one day find a way to forgive me…”_

_“Only if you could forgive me the same.” Ellie replied._

_Katherine smiled at her, stroking her face. “There is nothing you could do that will shake my love for you…”_

_As they hugged, neither of them noticed the hourglass slowly fading from a bright green back into soft pink._

_In the near year since their switch, they’d tried to figure out exactly what the hourglass was or why it was magical. Ellie had done some in-depth online research but the best she’d returned with was the retail value they already knew and something about an underground wizard’s museum looking for artifacts. Katherine, for her part, had inquired at several antique stores but even Mrs. Time seemed unable to tell her anything about the object. None of them could offer a designer’s name or even a possible date of creation. She’d tried but there was nothing remotely close in size, design, or shape to their hourglass, online or in stores. They had been a matching set, now one-of-a-kind._

_Which, to Ellie, made it all the more important that they hold onto the remaining one._

_“What if it happens again?” She had asked one day, pacing in front of yet another dead-end antique store, wringing her hands. “This would be our only way to switch back.”_

_Katherine had rolled her eyes and taken her hand to stop her from wearing a groove in the pavement. “Honey, I doubt it’s ever going to happen again…don’t worry so much about it.”_

***

As the last piece of clothing tumbled from her closet and the empty space stared hauntingly back at her, Ellie staggered back. She collapsed against the closet door and slid down into a heap. 

Her head was spinning. She couldn’t think straight. 

Last night she’d fallen asleep next to someone she really, _really_ liked, satisfied and warm and safe. She’d woken up half a day later and hours away from that comfort. 

And her darkest fear realized. 

Ellie folded herself into a ball just inside the closet door, the irony not lost on her. She rocked herself slowly. 

This couldn’t happen again. She couldn’t live with the possibility of her mother unexpectedly hopping into her body and driving it around solo for several hours without her knowledge.

Hadn’t once been enough?

Her eyes stung as she pressed her hands into them. She rocked faster.

Where had she last seen that _stupid_ hourglass?

Vague memories flickered across her closed eyes: its usual spot on the table by her bed, dusting it tenderly knowing that Alex would be arriving soon. 

_Alex…_

Her heart clenched at the thought of the woman. _Alex_ …beautiful, smart, cool, Alex. Last night…in bed…Alex had made some inane comment about the oversized glass…then the talking had quickly ceased and the touching had begun. 

Her face flushed at the memories but she pressed on. She’d been too distracted to notice it during…but where would it have gone? It was as if it had just…

Ellie’s head shot up, the sudden rush of blood making her woozy.

As if it had vanished.

Her heart dropped into her stomach.

_Had it broken?_

She wracked her brains. There had been a fleeting moment the previous night…her hand had flown out, making contact with something that gave…she’d been aware of something falling. In the midst of everything she and Alex had been doing…she’d forgotten about it.

_But if it broke…_

The last time one had broken, it had vanished into thin air mere moments later.

And now, the hourglass was gone without a trace.

Ellie sank against the closet door, hopelessness replacing her tears. 

If it was gone…what did that mean for them?


	9. Is this normal now?

Ellie felt awful. 

“Ughhh….everything hurts…”

She moved stiffly under her sheets, feeling a twinge in her lower back, a pull in her calves.

_What did I do yesterday that hurt so much? I didn’t run…didn’t go to dance class…_

She groped for her bedside table, for the drawer containing a bottle of aspirin. But as she moved, her hands hit something unexpected. 

_Is that a lamp?_

Ellie finally opened her eyes and found that yes indeed, she was fondling a large, ceramic lamp. A familiar one. 

Slowly, Ellie rolled onto her back, slowly registering the sloped ceiling, the butterfly wallpaper that she’d colored on as a child, the beige comforter on the double bed…the weight next to her…

_I’m in mom’s room…?_

Her heart plummeted.

_Oh no._

In a second, she was out of the bed, hands groping for a phone. Her feet nearly tripped her as she dashed out of the bedroom, running for her own, for the safety of her childhood things. 

Her door slammed shut behind her and she raced to the mirror. Her mother’s panicked face stared back at her; older than her own and marked with the vestiges of decades she hadn’t lived.

“Oh god no…”

She stumbled to her own bed and collapsed on it facedown. It hurt. So much for this being an unfortunate dream.

“No…no…” 

At least last time, she’d been asleep for most of the switch. 

Ellie curled up in as tight of a ball as she could, Katherine’s body protesting the comforting action. 

It had barely been a month since that unfortunate day when she’d woken up to find that she’d somehow lost half a day and her worst nightmare had come true. Her mother had caught her with Alex. In the worst way imaginable.

Since then, they hadn’t talked. They’d texted once or twice but never anything substantial. 

`How was class?`

`Fine.`

`Did you find the hourglass?`

`No.`

Ellie rolled over, staring at her ceiling. Well…they could hardly avoid it now. It seems that their switch had been far from a one-time fluke. Here they were again. 

Heart thudding loudly in her ears, Ellie punched the icon for her own contact on her mother’s phone. 

The phone rang twice. 

“…ello?” Her own groggy voice greeted her.

Ellie took a deep breath. “Hey…mom.”

“Wh…?” A pause. “Oh crap.”

Ellie couldn’t help herself. “Language.”

“Don’t you language me, young lady!” Katherine hissed. Ellie heard her stumble out of bed and curse again as she nearly tripped on something. “Why are your pants on the floor again?”

Ellie couldn’t remember. She was honestly just immensely grateful there had been no one else in her bed this time around. 

“Where are you?” Katherine demanded, sounding like she was already tidying Ellie’s room. “Are you home? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Ellie assured her. “I’m home.” She shifted uncomfortably. “You feel like you just ran a marathon though…”

Her mother just scoffed in her ear. “Just wait until you’re almost 50…”

“don’t have to…”

An uncomfortable silence descended between them, broke only by Katherine’s various clucks at the mess of Ellie’s apartment. 

“Okay well,” Katherine finally said, “this happened over a distance again so maybe we can reverse it easily again. Do you have the hourglass?”

Ellie grimaced. “No…”

There was an unsettling pause on the other end. “What do you mean no?”

“I mean, it’s not here.”

“well, it’s not here! So where is it?”

“I don’t know, mom! I don’t know…”

“You lost it?”

“No!”

“Then where is it?”

“It’s gone!”

Her outburst was met with another silence but this one somehow felt heavier than the previous one. 

Ellie wrapped her arms around herself, shuddering at the unfamiliar sensation. “What do we do?” She asked in a small voice. She may be an adult now, but for something like this (hell, for most of the things going on in her life of late) she just wanted her mom to tell her what to do. To say that everything was going to be okay.

Her mother was silent for a time, so long that Ellie checked to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. 

When she spoke, it wasn’t with the reassurances Ellie craved. 

“How soon can you get back to the hospital?”

***

“Well, I cant say I’m not happy to see you two again…” Anna smiled, not trying very hard to hide her glee. “But I wish it could have been on better terms…”

“Are you going to help us or not?” Ellie demanded, arms folded tightly. Katherine gave her a little warning tap.

They were back in the hospital (in some closet Anna had apparently shoved three chairs into when she got their call), Katherine having driven Ellie’s body back there and Ellie making half-hearted excuses to Mike and the catering business and arriving confused and frazzled. 

Anna’s eyes lit up, thrilled at the interaction. “I’m going to do my best, Ellie.” She replied, speaking to the correct person. “But I’m not sure that I _can_. Granted, I’ve never encountered anyone else doing this kind of research, let alone another pair of swappers.”

“Swappers?”

The woman waved a hand. “That’s my term for those who have undergone a switch like yours.”

“Dumb name…” Ellie muttered.

Anna shrugged. “My research, my names. Deal with it.” A tiny smile quirked at the corner of Ellie’s mouth and Katherine felt a momentary flash of gratitude that she had been right about her daughter liking Anna. 

Anna flipped to a new page in her notebook. “So, this now marks your third switch…anything new to report?”

Katherine frowned. “Like what?”

Anna scribbled several brief notes. “New sensations, new causes, new insights?”

“Mom needs a chiropractor…” Ellie muttered, shifting uncomfortably. 

Anna nodded. “Was there anything either of you did that might have caused this to happen this time?” She asked.

Ellie and Katherine exchanged a glance, both of them puzzled.

“I…dont…think so?” Ellie replied. “Is there…like a trigger for…swapping?” She grimaced as she said the word.

“Not one I know of.” Anna admitted. “But that’s why it’s so important for us to document everything here! Maybe we can find it!”

“So you don’t know why this happened?” Ellie deadpanned. She turned to Katherine. “Why are we here?”

Her mother ignored her. “We know the trigger.” Katherine insisted. “It’s the hourglass.” 

“Well, you didn’t have the hourglass last time and you still reverted back.” Anna pointed out. “So…maybe it’s not _just_ the hourglass. You didn’t see it this time, right?”

“…No.”

“So let’s explore an alternative route.” Anna put her notebook aside and folded her hands. “Katherine, what happened just before you two switched back last time?”

Katherine glanced at Ellie. “I just touched my…her…our hands. Then there was a pink spark and next thing I knew, we were back.”

Anna gestured at them. “Well?”

Ellie gave an exasperated sigh and turned towards Katherine. 

“Honey…”

“What?” Ellie snapped back. 

Katherine hesitated, looking for a moment like she wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. “Just…don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work again. We’ll figure this out.”

Ellie frowned. “Right…”

Katherine held out her hand. Under Anna’s hungry gaze, Ellie stretched out her fingers and leaned towards her mom. Their fingers brushed.

It was barely a connection, not even close to a hand-hold. After several tense seconds, it became clear that nothing was going to happen. Anna tutted softly and Ellie took that as the cue to whip her hand away. 

“We’re missing something.” Anna observed, “That’s the tricky thing about this research; there always seems to be an emotional component to it…” Anna flipped to a new page in her notebook, muttering to herself as she scribbled something down. “God, I wish my mom were here…”

Ellie turned to Katherine. “Are you sure she’s the only one who can help us?” She muttered, raising her eyebrows at the researcher.

“Yes.” Katherine snapped back. “Now stop being rude.”

Anger coiled in Ellie’s stomach and she turned away, wrapping her arms around her mother’s torso. All of this was wrong, all of this was tough. So why did she get all the blame for it? Did her mom think she wasn’t just as devastated and angry about losing the hourglass? 

It was several tense seconds before Anna finally raised her head from her notes again. “How would you two say your relationship is right now?” She inquired.

“Fine.” Ellie insisted and the same moment Katherine said “Different.”

Anna merely hummed and circled something in her notes. 

“Why do you care?” Ellie demanded, sick of this, of being studied and analyzed for no good reason. Wasn’t this what they’d always wanted to avoid around this?

She could feel her mother’s glare from her defensive question but ignored her. 

Anna didn’t seem bothered. “Well, when my mother and I switched, we had to come to an understanding about each other before we could switch back.” She replied.

“You had to what?”

“Essentially, I had to see life from my mother’s point of view and learn why she acted and felt the way she did.” Anna smiled fondly. “Similarly, my mother had to do the same for me.”

“But we did that!” Katherine insisted. “We had a whole confession literally at the altar before we switched back! And after that, we talked about everything.” She placed a gentle hand on Ellie’s arm that Ellie only barely managed to not shrug away from. 

Anna shrugged but she was eying them both carefully. “This is the best I can offer right now. Unless you have that hourglass.”

Ellie shrank, ducking her head. “No…” She muttered, a blush crawling across her face. “But we didn’t need it last time!” She insisted.

Anna gave her a sympathetic look. “Well then let’s hope the same thing happens this time.”

***

They were barely out of Anna’s cramped, improvised office before Ellie was hissing her frustrations of the morning at her mom. 

“Why are we wasting our time with her?” She demanded, stalking across the lobby.

Katherine hurried after her, pressing her purse into Ellie’s hands. “She’s probably the only person on Earth who wont think we’re crazy when we talk about this.” She murmured back, giving the receptionist eying them a disarming smile.

Ellie rolled her eyes. “Because _she’s_ crazy!”

“She’s…eccentric.” Katherine admitted. “But she’s had experience with this.”

Ellie scoffed. “Yeah, once.” They crossed the threshold and left the hospital, the biting September wind making both of them shiver. “She may have the fancy words and tests but we’ve got her beat in the experience department.”

Katherine pulled Ellie’s favorite flannel tighter around herself. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing…”

Silence fell between them, neither one of them able to look at the other. To Ellie, it felt like a rejection.

“Look, honey…” Katherine finally began, her voice shaking. “…a…about last time…”

Ellie tightened her grip. “Just…forget it mom.”

Katherine turned away, biting Ellie’s lip so hard that Ellie feared it would bleed.

“We’ll figure this out…” She murmured, more to assure herself than offer her mom and comfort. “Cant be any harder than it was last time.”

The purse in Ellie’s hands began to ring, startling her so much that she nearly dropped it. She fished out her mom’s phone, peering at the caller-ID.

“Why is Mike calling you?”

Katherine’s face paled. She hurriedly checked the time. “Oh no…I completely forgot…”

Katherine held the phone out to her. “Forgot what?”

Her mom ignored the offered device, letting the call go to voicemail. Ellie was stunned. She _always_ answered Mike’s calls. She hadn’t even pushed Ellie to answer for her.

Katherine was wringing her hands, pacing back and forth in the parking lot and doing her breathing exercise that she reserved for stressful situations. 

“Mom?”

She paused at the gentle call. “Ellie…I…I need you to do something for me…as me.”

Ellie raised an eyebrow. “Okay…why cant you just postpone it until we switch back?”

Katherine winced. “It involves Mike.”

Ellie groaned, running her hands dramatically down her face. 

Katherine waited patiently for her theatrics to stop. “Please Ellie…I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

Ellie huffed, tucking her hands into her mother’s jacket. “I know, I know…just…promise me I wont have to kiss him?”

Her mother grimaced but Ellie caught an undercurrent of sadness in it. “…you wont.”


	10. In the wrong role

“Katie…there you are.”

Ellie hurried up to her stepfather, stuffing her mom’s keys into her purse. “Hi.” She gave him a hug, realizing after the fact that it was not a very “mom” thing to do. But she certainly wasn’t going to kiss him. “Sorry I’m…late.” She followed up, voice trailing off.

Mike shrugged. “It’s fine.” He offered nothing else. 

“So…let’s do this?”

Mike huffed, hands in his pockets. “Yeah…let’s…”

They walked into the office, Ellie glancing around to see just what she was walking into.

A long couch opposite a straight-backed chair. Inspirational posters on the walls. An atmosphere that was all at once both calming and tense. 

In an instant, Ellie realized what was happening. “Wait a minute…this is…!”

“You two are late.”

Both Ellie and Mike whirled around, coming face-to-face with a familiar face that instantly set Ellie on edge.

“No…no way…”

Her mother’s former assistant smiled. “Now, let’s get started.” Torrey insisted. “We’ve got lost time to make up.”

***

Throughout the next 45 minutes, Ellie fumbled along as best she could, answering Torrey’s questions and nodding along as Mike talked. But her mind was racing. 

Mom and Mike were in couple’s therapy? With _Torrey_ of all people?

_Why didn’t mom say anything? Why didn’t she prepare me for this?_

But then again, she hadn’t told her mom anything about…Alex. Or her recent bouts of stress-induced panic attacks. 

Was this their life now: keeping secrets that only swapping would allow them to reveal to each other? An unexpected twinge of sadness ran through Ellie at the thought. 

_When did we let so much distance crop up between us?_

“Katherine? Katherine!”

Torrey’s stern call startled her so much that Ellie nearly lept from her seat. “Hmmm? Sorry what?”

Torrey gestured between them. “Would you care to respond to what your husband said?”

“Wh…what did he say?” Ellie asked, ashamed for having not been listening.

Mike looked away from her. “I said: it feels like we don’t communicate like we used to Katie.”

Ellie didn’t know what to say to that. But she felt like she needed to say something. Torrey was watching her expectantly and she couldn’t bare to see her step-father so despondent. 

“That’s probably my fault.” She began. “I…just with the business lately…it…it’s been rough…you know. Oh! And…and Fletcher! Yeah, he…he’s been…a handful…” She trailed off when she realized that both of them were now looking quizzically at her, like she’d said the wrong line in a rehearsed play.

But what could she do? She wasn’t married to Mike; she didn’t know what their problem was and why he had insisted on this session.

Mike looked like he wanted to say something else but at that moment, Torrey’s alarm went off.

“That’s time.” She told them. “Sorry to kick you out, but I have another appointment I have to keep.”

Mike nodded already standing up to leave. “Sure…thanks Torrey.” He turned to Ellie and gestured for her to follow.

But as Ellie was getting up, Torrey stopped her. “Katherine, can you stay a moment? I want your advice on something.”

Ellie glanced at Mike but he was already halfway out the door. “Oh um…sure.” Unsure what else to do, she sat back down on the couch. 

Torrey took a seat as well. She gave Ellie a smile that was just as unsettling as the previous ones. “How’s Ellie?” She asked.

Ellie blinked stupidly. “Wh…what?” Her heart skipped several beats. 

_Does she somehow know?_

“Last time you stayed behind because you wanted to talk about Ellie.” Torrey continued.

Ellie was stunned. “I did?”

Torrey nodded. “Last time you said you were worried about her; that you two had had some kind of breakdown in communication. Have you talked to her since the hospital?”

Ellie recalled the stony silence between them since the previous switch. “I...uh. No. No I haven’t…” She was unable to keep the resentment out of her voice.

Torrey gave a sympathetic sound. “Is she still seeing this Alex?”

“Wha…?” Ellie barely cut herself off. _Mom told her about that?_

“I…I don’t know.” She answered. The fact was equally true between both her and her mom. “I haven’t called her, haven’t tried to talk to her…I’ve done…nothing.” The word came out scathing. But she didn’t know if she meant it about herself or her mother.

“Why?” Torrey asked her.

“Why?!” Ellie exclaimed, “I don’t know why! Ask…!” She bit her tongue to keep herself from shouting. “Ask someone else…” She finished lamely. This was all just too emotionally wrought for her to handle.

“Maybe this is something to bring up with Mike?” Torrey suggested. “Talking to him might be a good way to work through your reluctance to reach out to Ellie about whatever you think is bothering her.”

Then Ellie realized; Katherine had only mentioned things in the broadest of terms. Torrey probably didn’t even realize that Alex was a woman. Her mother hadn’t even been able to mention the possibility to Torrey. 

“It’s nothing he can fix.” Ellie replied bitterly. 

“Maybe it doesn’t need to be fixed,” Torrey pointed out, “maybe it just needs to be understood?”

The statement hit home in an oddly comforting way. “When did you get so wise?” Ellie mused, recalling Torrey’s odd mannerisms and high-strung attitude whilst she’d been Katherine’s assistant. 

Torrey paled, her eyes lighting up. “You think I’m wise?”

Ellie pursed her lips and nodded tightly. There was the weird.

***

While Ellie and Mike were inside, Katherine paced. She methodically walked the short distance across the waiting area, earning her a sour glare from Torrey’s ancient receptionist. But the woman didn’t stop her so she paced. While she paced, she pondered. 

What was going on in there? What was Mike saying? He hadn’t told her why he’d booked this session, only that he thought it might be good for their relationship. They’d done one session already, during which they hadn’t discovered anything they didn’t already know. So why was he pushing for more?

“Careful kid, you’ll wear a hole in the floor."

Katherine looked up. Mike smiled at her, giving her shoulder a brief squeeze. “There you are. I was beginning to worry you were too far gone.”

“Mike…” Unable to hold herself back, Katherine launched herself into his arms, embracing him tightly. Why was it so much easier to show him affection as her daughter than as herself?

Mike chuckled and hugged her back. It was one of his tight, reassuring hugs, the same kind he used to give her on tough days. But to Katherine, it still felt too different. Because he wasn’t really giving it to her. This one was all for Ellie.

“How are things?” Mike asked, gently releasing her. “We didn’t really get to talk much when you were home last time.”

Katherine looked away. “Yeah…sorry…I…last time was…odd.”

“How’s that Alex girl treating you?”

The simple statement hit Katherine with the full force of a freight train.

_Ellie told Mike…_

He’d known even before she had. And he’d said nothing.

An emotion she couldn’t name took root in her stomach.

“Where’s mom?” She asked abruptly, her jaw hurting.

“Still in with Torrey…Torrey wanted her advice on something.”

Katherine filed that concern away under _process later_ ; whatever advice her daughter chose to give her high-strung former assistant, it would probably take some time to really kick in.

“Don’t worry.” Mike assured her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “She doesn’t know about you two.” 

Katherine could feel her anger twisting her daughter’s face. “You never told her?”

“Isn’t my news to tell.” Mike replied. He eyed her paternally. “That’s something you need to decide, kid.” 

But Ellie hadn’t decided, at least not before she was forced to by this unforeseen circumstance. A thick undercurrent of guilt swamped Katherine’s chest that she couldn’t justify.   
If the switches were out of her control, why should she feel guilty?

Mike continued talking, graciously ignoring or unaware of Katherine’s discomfort. “Ellie…you know how much your mom loves you…”

Katherine grimaced, feeling like someone was whisking her insides into a fine meringue. “Do I?” Maybe five years ago that had been unquestionable to them both. But recently, she wasn’t so sure.

“Ellie, I know she’s worried about you. Just…let her know that you’re not in trouble.” Mike advised her. “She knows something’s up with you. She just hasn’t quite figured out what yet.”

Was she really so transparent to him? Why had he never said so? “How can you tell?”

“She misses you. More than you know. I can see the way she worries about you, even when she doesn’t realize that she is.”

She wished beyond hope that her daughter could be hearing this now, not her.

“Have you told her all this?” She asked him softly. 

Mike peered at her, his brow wrinkling in deep thought. “Why would I?”

The silence dragged and his gaze held. For a moment, Katherine’s stomach clenched in fear that he could see through the face before him and recognize her inside of her daughter. But after a time, he blinked and shook his head, seeming to dismiss whatever suspicion he’d had. 

“How did it go…in…in there?” She tried, not sure if she should be pushing her luck after his last look.

Mike sighed. He glanced away from her, as if unsure what he could say.

“Are we okay?” Katherine asked, completely forgetting herself.

“Your mom and I…are in a bit of a patch.” Mike admitted, not seeming to catch her slip. “I feel like…”

“Feel like what?”

“I feel like we don’t communicate anymore. She just shuts me out and handles everything herself.”

Katherine’s heart twisted. “Maybe…maybe she just doesn’t want to trouble you?”

“She shouldn’t get to make that decision for me.” Mike insisted, the tiniest flare of anger entering his voice. “We’re in this together. Her problems are my problems and I deserve the chance to help her.”

She had never wanted to kiss him more than she did in that instant. But she couldn’t. Not as Ellie.

And she could hardly even begin to explain why. 

***

When Ellie emerged from Torrey’s office, she found Mike and her mom standing very close together. Which was unsettling seeing herself so close to her step-father.

“Hey…Ellie.” She greeted them. Katherine took a step back, and looked at the floor as if ashamed. “What’s uhh…what’s happenin’?” Ellie asked. 

Mike gave her a look she couldn’t decipher before mumbling something about them needing to pick up Fletcher and beating a hasty retreat. 

Ellie turned to her mom.

“Mom?”

Katherine grimaced. “It’s nothing…honey…” She still refused to look at Ellie. 

Ellie screwed up her courage, suddenly finding it difficult to ask the question that had been floating around her mind all day. “Mom…are you two…gonna be okay?”

When her mother didn’t immediately reassure her, Ellie knew something was wrong. “I…I don’t know yet, honey…” Katherine admitted, still looking away. 

Her heart clenched. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“Why did you tell Mike about Alex and not me?”

Ellie flinched and turned away. Maybe she hadn’t meant it to sound so accusing but in that moment, the context didn’t matter. It still hurt.

They stood there for a long time, both looking away from each other; Katherine studying large mirror hanging on the waiting room wall and Ellie considering her reflection in the receptionists’ window.

The silence stretched. 

Katherine finally sighed. “Honey…I…” She reached for Ellie’s hand. But before Ellie could flinch away, before Katherine could even attempt to continue whatever she had been about to say, their fingers touched. A bright pink spark lept between their hands and they both cried out. Katherine stumbled, barely managing to find purchase on a nearby chair. Ellie just sank in a heap on the carpet, her vision rapidly fading. 

_What the hell…?_

She blinked hard once, twice, slowly realizing two things:

One: she was no longer on the floor but in a chair.

Two: her reflection in the receptionist’s window finally looked like herself again.

“What the…?!” She sprang up, one hand on her face to make sure.

The ancient receptionist glared at them again and turned away to do something in a nearby filing cabinet. 

“Ellie…?”

She glanced down. Katherine was still sprawled on the floor, blinking and looking more than a little dazed.

Not trusting her voice, Ellie only nodded. 

Katherine stood up and they stared at each other, eyes full of questions they weren’t sure how to articulate. 

They parted ways without a word; Katherine heading home to an uncertain encounter with Mike and Ellie taking the long, dark drive back to New York. Neither one wanted to be around the other, not with this third switch and all its revelations bouncing around the empty space between them.

Because that would force them to acknowledge that each time it happened, it got just the slightest bit easier to adjust to being each other and harder to talk about themselves.


	11. To Be You For A Day

The next few months fell into an unsettling pattern.

The switches continued, each one with less warning than the one before. Ellie had come to recognize them by the way her body felt as she first came into awareness. Mom’s body ached and always felt like she was wearing an oversized overcoat. There was an absence of the warm tingle in her fingertips. But it was oddly comforting to deal with her mother’s mundane life, instead of her topsy-turvy one. She felt less scared in mom’s place; more in control.

Likewise, Katherine began to notice the sounds of the city as a warning on the mornings she woke up in Ellie’s bed. Determining if the piercing was present became a sort of grounding ritual for her, before she even opened her eyes to see which body she was in that day. She always felt guilty for the tiny thrill she would get at feeling 21 again and so energetic and lively and free of her adult responsibilities and uncertainties.

They kept detailed journals in their bedside tables, it was the only way to keep up with each other’s lives. What else could they do? They had no idea where the hourglass was, no way to know how and why they were going to switch or switch back. 

Whichever one of them awoke first in the morning called the other for a heads-up and they each gave run-downs of their upcoming days. It was stiff and formal most morning, more a business meeting than a relationship. They traded schedules, reminders, and memos instead of stories, advice, and thoughts. 

One Sunday, during a switch, Katherine brought Ellie home and the two of them spent hours practicing simple culinary skills together and going over Ellie’s exam materials. The preparation helped them both (even if they’d switched back mere hours later, rendering their practice obsolete) but Katherine couldn’t help feeling like she was asking her daughter to live a double life, one she didn’t necessarily want any part of. She never saw Alex when she was wandering campus in Ellie’s body but she lacked the courage to ask Ellie if she still saw her. Or anyone else. Monica and Ellie’s other college friends said little about her relationships when Katherine was in her body.

They tracked the memories and moments both before and after each switch and sent them to Anna in twice-monthly reports. The woman offered several theories on their observations but none seemed to hit home. The only useful observation Anna seemed to be able to offer was that the switches were all lasting for about the same time each time they occurred (assuming they started sometime between 12 and 6 am). Otherwise, there was no rhyme or reason to them. Sometimes they switched back when their hands touched, other times it happened without them seeing each other at all. Sometimes they were awake when they first switched, often times not. And the researcher could offer no triggers or sources. But she promised to keep looking. In the meantime, there was little else they could do but get through it day by day.

***

If there was one thing Katherine hated about being Ellie, it was the sheer amount of things her daughter was expected to do.

Katherine scrolled through the text Ellie had sent her while she hastily pulled on her daughter’s clothes. “How in the world is she expected to do all this in one day?” 

`Morning class: Economics 8-9  
Go for a run with Monica  
Prepare for presentation for afternoon class  
Shift at work 11-3  
Afternoon class: Business Ethics (Give presentation) 3-4  
Key Club meeting 4:30-6  
Evening: finish problem set for weekend chemistry seminar`

“I swear college wasn’t this packed when I was her age…” Katherine muttered, jamming her feet into Ellie’s sneakers and rushing out the door. There was no time for breakfast. She’d woken up at 7:30 and needed to get to Ellie’s first class. 

By this point in their switches, she knew the way to campus without the need of a map. That didn’t make the commute any less pleasant. Did Ellie really _enjoy_ living in New York so much that she didn’t care if she had to dodge two piles of dog shit and ignore a catcalling work crew just to get to the subway?

Katherine tried not to think about it. 

But just as she tore through the doors to the Arts building for her daughter’s first class, something caught her eye. A thick bush of dark hair curled elegantly around a pretty face. 

Katherine’s feet squeaked to a halt. She’d know that head of hair anywhere. She’d woken up to it once. Her stomach flipped. 

She tried to turn and run but before she made it two steps, Alex was calling out: “Ellie!”

Pursing her lips, Katherine had no choice but to turn around and face her daughter’s (ex?) girlfriend.

“H…hey.” She managed, pushing down her daughter’s anxious feelings that mixed incoherently with her own. “Sorry but I…I’m going to be late for…for…” She trailed off as Alex placed a firm hand on her arm. 

Katherine was forced to take a good long look at the woman who’d captured her daughter’s attention. Alex was slim and very pretty, with an almost cherubic face and soft, dark, wavy hair. Her brown eyes glistened with mischief and a lazy kind of intelligence. Katherine squirmed. She was almost _too_ attractive.

The woman stared straight into her eyes, her gaze inquisitive. “El, what’s been up with you lately?”

The look affected Ellie more than Katherine was able to handle. “Wh…what?” She managed to choke out. 

Alex chuckled, more to herself than to Katherine. “For weeks, you kept teasing me with promises of dates and really, _really_ effective flirting.” Alex frowned. “Then we hook up for the first time and the next morning, you cant get away fast enough…then I don’t hear from you for days. So I’m thinking it’s something I did.”

“I uh…” Katherine was struggling, both to tamp down her unease with Alex’s gaze and to form a response that could somehow not make her daughter look bad in this situation. “I just…” she swallowed hard and tugged her arm free from Alex’s grip. “My uh…my mom was in the hospital…” she tried. “And I guess I uh…just…just got distracted by that.” She finished. “…sorry.” She tossed in, wincing at how it sounded like an afterthought.

Alex was looking at her again, but there was something less dangerous in her gaze this time. “Alright then…” she conceded. “I guess you better get to class.”

Giving her a weak smile, Katherine made to rush off to class. Talking to the woman who had seduced her daughter left a bad feeling all over her body. Could she really just… _flirt_ with this girl? Was that what Alex expected from Ellie?

Katherine shuddered. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t. 

But still… She paused, suddenly unable to keep walking. 

Ellie liked Alex. A lot. And while she was here running away from her daughter’s…lover, Ellie was sitting in therapy trying to salvage her marriage to Mike. 

Katherine bit her lip. Maybe she didn’t have to flirt, per se. But shouldn’t she at least try? For Ellie’s sake?

Katherine turned back around. “Alex…”

Alex was muttering something, her finger extended. But before Katherine could get a good look, she stumbled, suddenly woozy. Familiar pink sparks lept at her hand. 

_Really? Now?_

Katherine took two wobbling steps to reach the wall and propped herself against it. They were switching back, right now. This one looked like it was going to be a short switch after all. A wave of relief passed over Katherine that she wouldn’t have to face Ellie’s nightmare of a day. It was swiftly crushed by the realization that that meant she’d be in therapy instead. 

_Well…at least Ellie will get to talk to Alex…_

Katherine let herself fade into the sensation, preparing herself for the familiarity of jumping back into her own body and all its aches and pains.

Her vision faded to black…then immediately returned.

“Huh?” Katherine sat up, feeling a supporting arm around her shoulder. 

“El…?” Alex frowned at her. “What’s happening?”

“Wha..?” Katherine glanced down. She was still Ellie. “B…but I’m still…!” Her head was spinning, but for once not from disorientation at a switch. 

Alex was peering at her suspiciously but didn’t seem to have anything to say.

She didn’t even comment when Katherine stumbled to a trash can and dry heaved over it for several long minutes. 

Needless to say, Katherine was late to Ellie’s first class. 

***

When she finally returned to Ellie’s apartment, all Katherine wanted to do was collapse on the couch.

“I thought I was supposed to be the exhausted one.” She muttered, gently massaging her daughter’s aching neck. 

Her run-in with the infamous Alex had ended on a nothing note; the false switchback and merely led to her fumbling out more excuses and rushing off to arrive 10 minutes late to Ellie’s first class. 

The remainder of the day had proceeded in a dull roar, right up through her daughter’s Business Ethics presentation. So what if she’d inserted a few of her own personal experiences into the talk; that professor had obviously never run a business bigger than a lemonade stand.

Now, it was finally 6pm, the end to her daughter’s obligations for the day. 

Kicking off her shoes, Katherine collapsed on the couch and threw and arm over her eyes. 

_What happened this morning?_

They’d never had any false alarms. It was always the same: waking up in the wrong body, switching back several hours later without warning and always with a pink spark or two. 

The only difference this time had been Alex. But surely…

Katherine sat up, all thoughts of the gorgeous woman fleeing from her head as the door to Ellie’s apartment flew open.

“Hey Elle!” Monica called, setting down several grocery bags and a six pack. “I know I’m early but I wanted to make sure we had enough time to set up.”

Katherine stood and wandered over, watching with growing apprehension as her daughter’s best friend unpacked several bottles of alcohol and bags of party snacks. 

“What is all this for?” She asked.

“Did you forget?” Monica chastised her, already shoving Ellie’s meager food section aside to make room in the fridge for the beer. “You’re hosting this week.”

“Hosting?”

Monica hefted two bottles of vodka. “Our weekly keger?”

“Weekly?!”

Monica raised an eyebrow at her exclamation. “What’s up with you lately? You’re acting weird again.”

Katherine panicked. “Again?”

Monica frowned. “Yeah, like that first time we did the Hunt and you were weirdly obsessed with your mom’s wedding all of the sudden?”

Katherine squirmed. “Oh…right…” She’d have to be more careful. 

“Or that time a few months ago when you kept canceling our plans.” Monica continued, opening the freezer to check for ice.

Katherine looked up. “I did? Why?”

Monica shrugged. “You wouldn’t say. Just told me it wasn’t a good time for over a month.”

Katherine couldn’t recall any time when she had turned down Monica’s offer. That meant Ellie had been alienating herself from her friend for some reason. “Monica…I…I’m sorry.” She tried, wishing her daughter were here instead of her. 

But to her surprise, Monica didn’t seem bothered. “Don’t worry about it El. I understood.” She stood, rubbing her hands together. “Now, are we throwing a rager or what?”

Katherine should have said no. But she’d spent enough time as her daughter lately to know that canceling would be extremely out of character. 

Surely it couldn’t hurt? She hadn’t been to a college party for almost twenty years and couldn’t even remember the last time she got drunk. And if Ellie did it often enough…

Why not indulge herself this one time? To get a glimpse into her daughter’s real life?

“Sure…let’s throw a…rager…”

Well, if there was one thing she knew how to do, it was plan a party.

***

Ellie awoke the next day with a splitting headache. 

“Ughhh…crap…” She shifted and it only made the pain worse. 

An overnight switch? That would be just her luck…

She rolled over, mindlessly groping and only realized that she wasn’t in mom’s bed when her hand instinctively found the bottle of aspirin in her bedside table drawer.

Ellie sat up, rubbing her eyes. Her own apartment greeted her, messy but not in the way she’d left it. Solo cups were scattered around, the remains of a dip platter congealing in her kitchen, and Monica fast asleep on her couch. 

“ _Damn_ mom…”

She wasn’t in mom’s body. It was her own that ached so badly.


	12. Expectation/Reality

“What do you think, Katherine?”

Ellie sighed as quietly as she could, trying really hard not to sound as anxious as she did. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just bad at communicating?”

Both Torrey and Mike shook their heads, then turned back to each other. Ellie slumped in her seat, fingers gripping the edge of her chair.

_Another miss._

Ellie still sometimes had to attend Mike and Katherine’s couple’s therapy sessions. She usually tried to casually cancel them whenever they happened during a switch. But there were only so many times she could skip before it caught up to her. Mike had all but demanded that she attend today’s. 

By this point, both Torrey and Mike had started to recognize that some weeks “Katherine” couldn’t be persuaded to share any intimate details or personal feelings regarding the relationship. When they left therapy on those weeks, Mike didn’t say anything to her. It broke Ellie’s heart, knowing that her inability to answer was driving a further wedge between Mike and her mom. But what could she do? She wasn’t Katherine, she couldn’t verbalize what wasn’t working in their relationship. Especially if mom wouldn’t tell her.

And she definitely couldn’t show affection to her step-father. Mike was a great guy, he really was. But she wasn’t going to even entertain the thought of anything beyond a hug with him. 

_How can I make this right?_

***

The drive back home was stiff and silent. Ellie pretended not to notice how tightly Mike gripped the wheel. 

They pulled into the driveway, Mike sighing heavily as he turned off the engine.

“What are we doing…” he murmured.

“Huh?”

“What are we doing, Katie?” He asked her. He left the car, forcing her to struggle out of her seat belt to follow him inside. “It’s been months and we’re no closer to a breakthrough.” Mike continued as Ellie shut the door behind them. 

“It’s going to take time.” Ellie offered, her heart beating faster at the discussion she was in no way prepared for. Still, she couldn’t just leave this hanging. If she could do anything for their marriage, she would. “Do…do you want to talk about it?” She tried.

“All we ever do in these sessions is talk,” Mike replied, sitting down at the kitchen table, “or we dont talk and then we come home and it’s more stony silence. Do…” he looked up at her, eyes pinched. “do you even still want to be married?” He asked, sounding just so _tired_.

What kind of question was that? How was she supposed to answer that for mom?

“Mike please…I…I do still want to be married! Just some days…I…I dont feel like myself.” That at least was true. 

“Then _tell_ me, Katie.” Mike pleaded. “ _Tell_ me when you need to be alone… _tell_ me when you feel like that and _let me help you_.”

He was looking at her so earnestly, with such a desperate need to help her that Ellie couldn’t just walk away, as much as she wanted to. “I just…I’m…I worried about Ellie.” She admitted, digging into an old reliable.

To her surprise, Mike (calm, collected, low-key Mike!) _glared_ at her. “Then talk to Ellie.” He snapped.

Ellie blinked, confused. “Wh…what?”

Mike shook his head. “I know something’s going on with you two. You’ve been on pins and needles with each other since the hospital scare.” He stood up. “If this thing between you two is affecting us, that’s even more reason to reach out to her." he searched her face. "What exactly is going on that you two are like this?”

Ellie froze. This was her chance. This was an opening to tell him about the switches and let someone else take charge for once. Anna could provide insight but she hardly counted as a voice of authority. Mom’s only solution was to tough it out and wait for the switch back. But if Mike knew…

He’d never believe them. 

She looked away, unable to give him the right words. Silence fell between them and Ellie feared she’d just broken something she couldn’t repair.

Mike muttered something about going to his workshop and brushed past her. It was only the slam of the back door that broke Ellie from her stupor.

She had once confided about her uncertain sexuality to Mike and he’d offered her support and a much needed hug. So far, he'd kept his promise and not said anything to Katherine. But now that mom knew, why hadn’t she said anything? To anyone? To Mike, to Torrey? Hell, even to Anna at this point.

If this …this inability to accept Ellie’s sexuality was keeping Katherine from fixing even her own marriage…

_This runs deeper than I thought…mom…you really aren’t okay with this…_

The realization cut deep, making her brace herself against the counter. Her breathing picked up, skin going clammy.

_Am…am I…do you…even love me anymore?_

She’d been filling in for her mother for a significant part of the last few months. And she still didn’t understand why it was suddenly so hard to _talk_. Why Katherine hadn’t just talked to her about anything.

“ _Mom, I’m gay.”_

Three simple words. But what if her mom didn’t care? Or what if she thought she was mistaken. Or wrong?

Ellie’s breath started coming faster and shallower. 

But…she liked Alex. Right? 

Just as much as she had liked Adam?

Did the simple fact that she couldn’t admit that, not even to herself…mean she was…mistaken?

She was having a full-fledged panic attack now: her first one during a switch. The sensations were all the same though, even in mom’s body. A tightness in her chest, tears pricking at her eyes, and her breath coming in shorter and shorter gasps. 

But one key thing was missing this time. 

Nothing moved, the lights didn’t even flicker. 

Ellie laid her head on the table, the cool wood not as soothing as she’d hoped. 

So it was just her body then…just her body that was broken and volatile. 

She didn’t know how long she stayed like that. Long enough for the panic attack to slowly subside and mom’s neck to develop a terrible ache. 

“Mom?”

Ellie jumped, her head snapping up, not having heard Fletcher enter the kitchen. 

“Hey…Fletch.” She managed, turning on her “mom voice” just in time. God, when had she learned to do _that_?

Her brother shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “Can…can I…ask you something?” He mumbled, not quite looking at her. 

“Uhhh, sure. What?”

“It..it’s about dad.”

Ellie stiffened. “About…about your father?” She clarified. Fletcher had started calling Mike “dad” less than a week after the wedding. Ellie could never bring herself to. Mike hadn’t seemed hurt by the difference. 

Fletcher nodded, his eyes slowly sliding to hers. “When you met him was he…did he ever…talk about magic?”

Ellie’s mind jumped to the still-missing hourglass. “Magic?”

Fletcher nodded. “Yeah…like…like uh, tricks and stunts and things?”

Ellie frowned. Tom Blake had never been a fan of magicians. Ellie recalled in particular her 6th birthday, when she’d wanted a magician to perform and her father had vehemently opposed the idea. In fact, part of Ellie’s former hostility towards her brother’s former love of magic had stemmed from her father’s virulent hatred of the craft. 

“He…didn’t much care for it.” Ellie admitted. “Why? You haven’t touched your magic stuff in years.”

Fletcher flinched. “Jus…jus wondering…” He mumbled. Ducking his head, he darted back towards the stairs. Ellie might have been imagining it but she swore that her brother’s old trick wand was sticking out of his jean’s back pocket. 

Head spinning so much she couldn’t fathom whatever _that_ had been about, Ellie sat down hard at the kitchen table once more, her head in her hands. 

_I wish…I wish I could talk to dad…about all of this…he’d listen. He’d talk. He’d understand._

If there was one thing her father had done, it was make her feel special and understood.

But dad wasn’t here. All she had was Mike and mom. Her mother’s silent rejection and all it might imply rang hollowly through her. 

_I dont understand her at all…_

***

_College was, quite simply, a lot._

_As fun as it was making her own rules and spending her nights out with friends and strangers, Ellie found that returning home had a slight edge of relief to it._

_She didn’t have to think about deadlines or hangovers or when she was going to run out of clean underwear._

_Mom would take care of all those things._

_As for the other thing…well, she shouldn’t have to think about it at home._

_“Hey Ellie.”_

_Fletcher was the first one to greet her at the door, throwing those two words over his shoulder as he retreated off to his room. Ellie tried not to feel stung. He was fast becoming a surly teenager. She could empathize with that. Still, she hadn’t seen him in almost 2 months. Surely he could have mustered up more of a greeting?_

_But before she could so much as call after him, she found herself enveloped in a tight hug._

_“Welcome home, Ellie!”_

_Now this was more like it._

_Ellie hugged back, warmth glowing in her chest. “Thanks mom.”_

_Katherine took a step back and really looked at her. “You look tired.” She commented, but it was less a criticism and more an observation. “Was the bus okay?”_

_Ellie shrugged. “It was a bus. I’m here. Let’s not talk about it.” She smiled, but mostly to hide her evident exhaustion._

_“That bad huh?” Mike had wandered in, offering Ellie a smile. “Welcome home kiddo.”_

“ _Hey Mike.”_

_The next few minutes were all pleasantries: talk of school and work culminating in Katherine bustling off with Ellie’s bag of laundry, waving Ellie away when she moved to help._

_Ellie was left alone with Mike._

_“You okay?” He asked her. “Really?”_

_Ellie blinked, confused by the question. “Huh? Yeah, of course.”_

_Mike grimaced. “You look like death warmed over, kid. I’m surprised your mom hasn’t bundled you off to bed already.”_

_Ellie gave a short laugh. “Me too…”_

_Katherine passed them again, placing a kiss on Ellie’s cheek before heading towards the kitchen. If she noticed anything off between Mike and Ellie, she said nothing._

_“She’s just a little preoccupied with opening up the headquarters.” Mike told her._ Perfection Catering _was expanding and Katherine was finally opening up the kind of system she'd dreamed of for years. “But she’s really glad you’re home.” He insisted.  
_

_Ellie nodded. She was glad to be home too. If only because it saved her from less pleasant thoughts associated with school and people._

“ _You sure you’re alright?” Mike asked, peering at her again._

_“Yeah just…just…college is a lot.” It was a lame excuse. But she could hardly articulate why she was as tired as she was without revealing things she wasn’t sure she was ready to face yet._

_Mike nodded sagely. “Remember, I’m here for you kiddo.” He clapped her on the shoulder. “In whatever way you need me to be.”_

_Ellie smiled, finding herself so inexplicably happy that Mike was a part of their family. “Thanks Mike.”_

_She wandered into the kitchen, where the scent of her mother’s famous chili crashed into her and made her homesick all over again._

_Her stomach grumbled loudly._

_“I guess someone’s hungry!” Katherine laughed, tossing several chilies into the pot. “Feeling up to helping?”_

_Ellie obliged, mainly so that she could sneak bites of food around assisting with cooking._

_Several times, she reached for something only to find she’d been thinking of where the thing in question would have been in her own dorm kitchen, rather than her mother’s._

_There was an unexpected sadness to the realization. She didn’t live here anymore. But she still knew where everything was, how everything was supposed to be._

_It made her feel squeamish, like she were stalking her own family._

_“You’re very quiet.” Katherine observed as they covered the chili to let it simmer._

_“I’m just tired…” Ellie insisted, taking off her apron and folding it mindlessly. The unsettling feeling of being a guest in her own home left her with nothing to say._

_Her mother’s eyebrow arched. “Are you stalling?” She asked._

_“What? No! Why…why would I be?”_

_Katherine’s face fell. “Oh, sorry honey I just….” She cleared her throat. “I just thought you were doing something similar to what you used to do whenever you wanted to talk about…that day.”_

_She didn’t have to elaborate. There was only one day in question. But Ellie still felt off-put by the suggestion. They hadn’t talked about the switch in almost a year, and even then, it was usually for a quick laugh._

_Silence fell, broken only by the burbles from the simmering chili. Ellie fiddled with the apron before finally hanging it back up on its hook. She knew Katherine was watching her._

_She knew her mother knew her body language - especially after their switch she had become scarily fine-tuned to it. But had she really changed so much in so little time? Could her mother no longer tell the difference between her wanting to talk and her just wanting to stew in her own thoughts?_

_“Well,” Katherine reasoned. “The only other reason I could fathom for you folding clothes is you thinking about a crush…”_

_Ellie panicked, thoughts of Alex flooding into her head. “N…no…”_

_The stutter would have given her away to anyone. But to her mother, it was as good as a neon signal._

_She smiled expectantly._

_The bottom dropped out of Ellie’s stomach and she suddenly felt a lot less hungry. This was her chance; the moment of truth._

Just tell her. Just say it.

_“Well…there is someone…” Ellie began, her heart rate increasing to a frightening cadence._

_Katherine beamed. “Really? What’s his name?”_

_It was an understandable oversight. But that one pronoun was enough to shatter Ellie’s fragile conviction._

_“…A…Alex…” She choked out, thanking her lucky stars for the gender-neutral name._

_Her mother used to be able to see her anxiety. Now she only saw bashfulness. “Oh…Alex.” She winked. “Do I get to meet him soon?”_

_“N…no…I…Alex…” Ellie cleared her throat before answering. “We…we’re not even dating.” They weren’t even close. Unless Ellie staring at her throughout all of chem lab and questioning everything about herself was supposed to count._

_Katherine beamed with pleasure. “So you need some assistance wooing him?” She bumped Ellie with her hip. “Too bad I can’t butter him up for you.”_

_Ellie tried to smile. “Y…yeah…” The danger had passed. So why was her heart still beating so quickly_?

_Katherine turned down the heat on the stove, stirring the chili. “So, tell me about him. What is he like?”_

_Choosing her words carefully, Ellie managed to weave a convincing male persona for Alex, only changing things that would have immediately tipped Katherine off to Alex’s real gender (like her incredible rack - not that she was looking!)._

_Between the teasing and Ellie’s frequent blushing, they managed to have a normal conversation while dinner cooked._

_But when Ellie left the room to set the table, all her good humor seemed to leach right out of her and drip down into the floorboards._

Why hadn’t she just told her?

_Her mom had never given any indication that she didn’t like gay people. A good number of her staff identified as homosexual and she and Katherine had enjoyed watching TV shows that had some queer characters in the past. But Ellie saying it herself, pushing that into the new space between them…how would she react to that?_

_Ellie laid out bowls and utensils, barely registering that she had grabbed the wrong spoons due to her long absence from her childhood home._

_Maybe it was better that she hadn’t said anything. This part of herself felt too uncertain, too misshapen and unformed to try to explain it to anyone, let alone the most important person in her life. She didn’t know what Alex made her feel but it rivaled her previous feelings towards Adam. And it wasn’t like anything was going to happen between her and the gorgeous chem lab assistant. Alex probably didn’t even know she existed._

_Shouldn’t she wait to call herself_ that _until_ after _something had actually happened?_

_Katherine came into the room with the pot of chili and laughed good-naturedly as she saw Ellie’s mistake._

_“You need to come home more often.” She chastised, ruffling Ellie’s hair. “You’re going to forget where everything is!”_

_“Right,” Ellie returned, smiling in spite of herself. “I’ll just take the bus ride from hell twice a week so that I dont forget where the soup spoons are!”_

_They were both laughing hysterically when the boys joined them, both smiling so hard they were nearly crying._

_Ellie watched her mother all through dinner, marveling at the conflicting emotions swirling within her. She wasn’t ready to lose this; this closeness that had come from so much hardship and pain. What would throwing her uncertain sexuality into the mix do to them?_

_The last thing she wanted was for anything between them to fade._

***

The second Ellie was back in her own body, she was in motion.

She tossed off the clothes her mother had picked and pulled out her lowest-cut top. She gelled her hair down so flat that it all but stuck to her skull. 

The memories of Alex, the thought that perhaps she was just _wrong_ about everything seeped into her insides and curdled hotly. 

Her window flew open, several heat sparks leaping through the stirred air.

Ellie glared but it only seemed to make the problem worse. She needed to not be here. She needed to not be herself, just for a little bit. And since she couldn’t control the switches, she had to take drastic measures.

She didn’t call Monica. She didn’t reach out to any of her other college friends. She just went out by herself. She walked until she found a club and buried herself in the music and sweat. She avoided alcohol this time; she wanted to remember this.

She let the handsy guy feel her up, let him grind unabashedly on her. It was something to feel. 

She didn’t have a sex life anymore -not that she’d had much of one to begin with before Alex - especially considering her mother might wake up in her body any day and be naked alongside whoever was in her bed. 

_She really only has a problem with_ Alex _._

The bitter thought was enough to make her grab the guy and hail a cab back to her place. 

They kissed roughly in the backseat, earning themselves a dirty look from the driver. Ellie found she was curiously dispassionate about the whole thing. It was like watching someone else do everything in her body. She didn’t necessarily agree. But she was powerless to stop what was happening.

Let her wake up next to this guy. Let her mom switch with her again. Maybe then she’d finally _talk_ to her. 

She’d never tried to label herself. She had liked Adam so much that she couldn’t breathe around him. She liked Alex so much that it hurt. Guys were sturdy, hot. Girls were soft, beautiful. So what if she changed her mind? So what if she gave up on the girl of her dreams for the guy who was here?

The guy was groping her through her shirt, groaning into her mouth as he forced his tongue past her lips. She let him.

He was here, he was normal. And she needed that right now.

***

Katherine stirred, feeling uncomfortable. 

_Ugh…_

She shifted, trying to quiet the pain in her stomach and felt a slight tug from the piercing at her naval.

_Wait a minute…_

She sat up so quickly she experienced vertigo. Her daughter’s nude form greeted her again, thankfully buried under her sheets. 

_What?_

Another spasm of pain laced through her and she clutched her middle to ride it out. 

_How…?_

Her mind went into overdrive: they had switched back last night…she knew they had! She’d returned to her body in the middle of dinner and gotten strange looks from Mike and Fletcher. She’d gone to sleep in her own bed, wondering about her daughter and what she was doing. 

_We’ve never had a back-to-back switch…_

They were usually afforded a few days between each episode, sometimes even a full week. 

The pain finally quieted and Katherine unfolded herself to look around. 

There was no one in the bed. But as she listened, Katherine heard someone moving around in the kitchen. She froze. 

_Oh no. Not again…_

“A…Alex…?” She wasn’t looking forward to weathering another conversation with her daughter’s crush.

But to her surprise, a boy rounded the corner. “It’s Chad actually.” He ripped open a jumbo bag of pretzels and shoved his hand inside. “You got anything other than pretzels?”

“I uh…” Katherine was still processing, her expected relief at the male bedmate her daughter had acquired curiously absent. Since where did Ellie have random hook-ups? She waited for the rush of hormones and emotion but felt nothing except her daughter’s lingering physical pain. 

He didn’t seem to notice her discomfort or confusion. Crumbs tumbled from his hands as he tore into the pretzels. “Bit slow aren’t you, Emily?” ‘Chad’ observed, leaning against her doorframe. He leered at her. “Thankfully you’re better in bed…”

Even without the comment about her daughter’s apparent promiscuity, Katherine had already had enough of this boy. 

“Get out.” She snapped, sitting up and pulling the sheets with her. 

He scoffed. “Okay…cold, bitch.”

Fury rose in Katherine, so strong that she feared Ellie’s face was turning red. “Young man, if you call her a bitch one more time, I will tear out your intestines, saute them with butter and garlic and feed them to your parents.” She fixed him with her hardest ‘mom’ look. “Get out.”

The boy’s face had paled at her conviction, the bag of pretzels slipping out of his hands. He snatched up his coat and left her apartment in less time than it took Katherine to wrap the sheet around herself and get out of bed. 

She staggered to the bathroom and was promptly sick in the sink. Panting, she wiped her lips and gazed at her daughter’s haggard reflection in the mirror. 

_Oh Ellie…what is going on with you?_

It wasn’t like her daughter to have a bad hook up with some random, terrible guy and let him stay the night afterwards…

Was it?

The unfamiliar face that she loved offered no answers. 

Needing to stop looking at her daughter’s miserable face, Katherine set about doing what she did best: taking care of her daughter. She showered and scrubbed everywhere, popping a few antacids to settle her stomach. She stripped the bed and stuffed it into a laundry basket.

But the chores didn’t drown out the overwhelming voice in her head:

_Talk to her._

That voice that sounded like Tom. 

_I cant…not if she isn’t ready to._

Katherine stood up, brushing angry tears from her eyes. She turned to tuck in the corners of the bed, yanking the sheets violently into place. 

As she turned around, something fell off of Ellie’s nightstand. 

It was a diary. One she had become all too familiar with of late. 

Their switchback the previous night had been so sudden that Ellie hadn’t even left her a diary entry back home. But maybe she’d put some of her thought process in here. 

Katherine scooped it up, fingers effortlessly finding the last entry. It was from yesterday:

_Dont know what mom said in B Ethics but Mr. S is totally out to get me now…today he asked me for my opinion on tax credits…? Monica keeps talking about the party; thankfully I can blame the ‘memory loss’ on drinking…_

Face burning, Katherine flipped back as far as she could, and found herself stumbling on an entry from back before all this mess had started:

_Alex finally said yes! Tonight’s the night. I’m so nervous that my stomach’s in knots…I’m worried about saying something wrong or doing…it wrong. I wish I could talk to mom about this…but…I dont know…I’ve been avoiding it for so long…and I still dont really know…am I gay? Is this really something I feel that strongly? I dont want to say anything if I might be wrong…After tonight, I guess we’ll see._

Katherine stopped and sat heavily on Ellie’s bed, despair overwhelming her. _She would have been ready to tell me…had it not been for our switch…_

She considered her own incorrect assumptions about her daughter, past and present. 

_But would I have been able to hear it?_

Maybe Ellie was ready to talk, desperate to talk…and just didn’t want to admit it. Just like before, Ellie feared having her feelings rejected or dismissed. Katherine rubbed her face, finding fresh tears welling in her eyes. It had taken her so long by this point that she feared the rejection if she did. What kind of mother just ignored the problem?

She did. This is exactly what she had done after Tom had died: focused on work and fixing everything and left her daughter alone to process in her own way.

Katherine wrapped her arms around Ellie’s body, wishing desperately that she could somehow transfer the hug to her daughter. 

In the moment, both times she’d been able to blame circumstance or her daughter’s apparent callousness around the issue for her lack of effort. But in hindsight, it just felt cowardly.

_How could I have done that again?_

Needing a distraction, Katherine turned to the previous week, fingers skimming her daughter’s messy handwriting until she found the entry she was looking for:

_Uneventful swap. Had therapy with Mike and Torrey, mostly about communication issues between mom and him. Didn’t help that I had no idea what the problem was. I tried to say something helpful but it only seemed to make Mike more distant._

Katherine remembered this day for a different reason. This was the date of that infernal Business Ethics presentation. And also the day she’d run into Alex unexpectedly. But one thing glared out of her daughter’s entry. Or rather, one thing was glaringly absent.

_Why would Ellie leave our false switch out of her diary?_

Unless it hadn’t happened for her.

Her mind was racing.

Alex had been present at the first switch. In some respects, she may have been the catalyst. The hourglass had gone missing shortly after. And their only false switchback had been when Alex had been present.

Katherine snapped the journal shut, feet already in motion. 

She had to find Alex. 

Maybe, just maybe, she was the key to all of this.


	13. Anxiety-ridden

Thankfully, Ellie only had one class that day. And Katherine decided that after last time, she could bare to skip a single Business Ethics seminar. 

She stalked across campus, one hand on Ellie’s phone, the other shoved deep in her pocket to ward off a chill. By this point in her invasion of her daughter’s life, she knew where most things were. And she’d learned enough about Alex to deduce where she was most likely to be at this time of day.

The chemistry wing of the building was strangely empty for the middle of the weekday. After consulting Ellie’s schedule and a building directory, Katherine finally pinpointed the room.

She knocked loudly, intending to wait but the ajar door swung open at her tap.

Alex was standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by a strange assortment of lights or maybe bubbles. Katherine didn’t get a good look before the woman was whirling to face her. “Hey! Office hours aren’t till 4…so you can just…oh.” Her face paled as she caught sight of Katherine in the doorway. “Oh…it’s you.” As one, the bubbles all vanished with a popping sound.

“Alex…?” Katherine blinked, trying to reconcile what she had just seen. What _had_ she just seen? “What…what are you doing?”

“What, me? Nothing…” Alex’s hand fiddled with the top of her boot, almost as if she were shoving something into it. She crossed and perched casually on her messy desk. “Just some…chemistry…thing. What are…you…doing here…? El?”

She fixed Katherine with a disarming smile. 

_Focus, Blake_. Katherine chided herself. She needed that hourglass. “I…I uh wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Is this related to class?”

“No..it…” She took a deep breath. “It’s about…us.” Even as she said it, it felt odd. But more because it involved the wrong people. Ellie should be saying all this.

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Is there still an us?” She asked in a low voice. 

“What?”

The woman shrugged. “You tell me, El.” She perched on the edge of her messy desk (how, Katherine had no idea) “You seem to be calling all the shots lately.”

“I…it’s complicated.” Katherine admitted, hoping she could somehow drive the conversation away from this minefield. “I really wanted to ask you…about my hourglass.”

Alex examined her nails. “Your…hourglass?”

“Yes. My…dad gave it to me before he died. Now it's missing. The last time I remember seeing it was the night we…we…” She tried valiantly to prevent the blush but failed. 

“Well I didn’t steal it if that’s what you’re asking.” Alex replied drily.

“No! No I just…I was just wondering if you had any idea where it might have gone.” She finished lamely. _Damn, it really does sound like I’m accusing her._ But what else was she supposed to do? She could hardly tell Alex why she needed it so badly or why she suspected Alex might be involved. 

Alex took a long moment to examine each of her fingernails before replying. Katherine did her best to be patient. “We talked about it for a little bit…” she finally recalled. “The big pink one right?” Katherine nodded. “yeah…you seemed pretty attached to it…did it get up and walk away?”

Katherine shrugged. “I dont know. I’m out of ideas as to where it might be.” She fiddled with a knick-nack she couldn’t identify on Alex’s desk. “So I thought I’d come see you.”

“Really, Ellie?” 

Katherine’s head shot up. “Huh?”

Alex had sprung off the desk, stalking into her personal space in less time than it took Katherine’s heartbeat to spike. “Your hourglass?” Alex smirked. “That’s the excuse you decided to use?”

Katherine felt Ellie’s whole chest clench. “Uhhh…uhhh…yes?” She managed to stammer out.

The chemistry assistant, stretched out a hand, brushing some of Ellie’s uncombed hair back. “If you wanted to see me…you could have just said so.” She leaned closer.

Ellie’s knees nearly gave out. 

Alex’s lips were against her own and the sensation nearly knocked Katherine off her feet. As it was, she stumbled just enough to dislodge the older woman’s lips. 

Alex peered at her. “You okay Ellie?”

Alex was coming closer again and Katherine was terrified that another kiss would be too much for her to handle. She’d already done far more than she ever should have. 

“Wait!” She all but shrieked, throwing her hands between them. 

“Ellie?” Alex asked, leaning in again. “What is it?”

The woman’s proximity sent Ellie’s body into overdrive. “I slept with someone!” Katherine blurted. It wasn’t what she should have said. But she had panicked. 

Alex stepped back, looking shocked. “What?”

Katherine hated herself for this. “I…I slept with someone…a guy…” She admitted, unable to look at Alex. “I…I’m sorry…”

“You’re…sorry?” Katherine winced at the accusation in Alex’s tone. “You’re sorry…why did you do it then?”

“I…I dont know…”

The woman’s face closed off, all previous cockiness and teasing gone. Alex took a step back, looking away from her. “I’ll keep an eye out for your hourglass Ellie.” She said, sounding stiff. “But I dont think you should come here anymore.” 

Katherine nodded, lip trembling. She took her leave, her chest hurting. At the door, she turned partway back.

“She…she didn’t mean to hurt you…” She murmured, so softly that she was sure the woman couldn’t hear her. 

Leaving the room, Katherine barely made it down the hall before her legs gave out and she sagged against the wall. 

The roiling emotions, the humming hormones, and the utter confusion was devastating. And all this from a simple kiss?

For the first time in her life, Katherine understood exactly why some people found it so hard to either come out or embrace their sexuality fully. 

_Has it been this_ tumultuous _for her? For how long?_

“God, how does she navigate this?

Her heart was still thrumming uneasily, sending odd tingles down her arms and fingers. It had been a long time since she’d felt anything this… _potent_. The feeling pulsed down her arms, making her shudder at the release. 

Katherine flinched as all the windows in the hallway burst open in some kind of freak breeze, scattering papers and tipping over the trash can next to her. 

“What the…?”

The lights flickered several times and then just as abruptly, everything went still and quiet once more. 

Her heart slowly resumed a normal pattern, the warm tingles fading. 

But as the sensations from the kiss faded, Katherine was seized by a choking grip of guilt.

“Oh god…”

She had been kissed by her daughter’s ex-girlfriend…

Stumbling to her feet again, Katherine ran down the hallway, sliding on loose papers.

How could she have let that happen?

Tears blurred in her eyes…no…her _daughter’s_ eyes. 

Ellie would never forgive her.

***

Getting her vindictive wish for Katherine to switch with her again had backfired spectacularly. And Ellie felt like crap for it.

She’d woken up horrified by her own promiscuity and ashamed of her rationale. She could only hope that someday she’d be able to move past it. 

Instead of contacting mom to give her a heads up (what would she even say?: hey mom, oh just a warning, there’s some random guy in my bed. I dont remember his name and he’s terrible at sex. Can you kick him out?), she’d slipped out of bed and hurried out of the house without leaving Mike a note. She’d brushed past Fletcher on her way out the door, barely pausing for a good morning.

Since she couldn’t face her mother, there was really only one other person she could talk to. However much she loathed to. 

“Hey…they told me you were here. I came as soon as I could.”

Ellie grimaced, trying not to glare. “What exactly do you do here that you can just drop everything whenever we show up?” She snapped, the hospital lights already irritating her mom’s eyes. 

Anna shrugged. “Data entry. No one really cares if I vanish for an hour or so.” She gestured. “Step into my office.”

Rolling her eyes, Ellie followed her down the now-familiar hallways of the hospital.

The office was still just the closet with chairs crammed inside. But as soon as the door closed, Ellie felt a sense of relief. She dropped mom’s persona and fully fell back into herself, collapsing dramatically in a chair. 

“No Katherine today?” Anna asked, edging around a rack of toilet paper to her chair. 

Ellie shook her head. 

“Any particular reason?”

“It just didn’t work out this time!” Ellie snapped. 

Anna eyed her for a moment but then shrugged. “Okay. So why are you here today Ellie?”

“I just…I just…” She fiddled with her hands, hating the wrinkles that she hadn’t earned.

Anna waited, silent but attentive. 

“I’m sick of all this!” Ellie finally shouted, tears pricking her eyes. “I’m sick of the switching, the research, the double life! I’m sick of feeling like everything is out of my control, like I’m _wrong_ somehow. I’m sick of pretending: to be mom, to be myself…to be acting like everything’s fine when it isn’t and it might never be again.” She choked, a sob escaping her throat. “And I’m _sick_ of feeling like my own mother doesn’t love me anymore!”

The outburst left her feeling hollow, like she had expelled something vital and explosive and had little hope of ever recovering it. 

Anna let out a small sigh. “I forget how young you really are sometimes…” She commented, more to herself. “But give yourself some credit, El. You’re still figuring things out; shit’s gonna get worse before it gets better kid.”

The simple act of being called ‘kid’ while in her mother’s body made Ellie shudder in relief. 

“So what do I do?” She pleaded. “Tell me, cause no one’s offering me any good advice and I feel like I’m spontaneously combusting inside all the time.”

“You think it ever gets any easier?” Anna chuckled. “Listen kid, I’m fifteen years older than you and even I dont know what to do _all_ the time. You dont have someone constantly telling you what to do. At some point, you just have to tough it out yourself.”

“But I cant…I…” her breath was picking up. “I…I cant handle all this on my own…”

“I know…but you dont have to…” Anna assured her. “You have friends and family for that. And me.” She added, almost as an after thought. 

“But I dont!” Ellie insisted, gripping her chest. “I cant tell my friends about the switches, I cant tell my family about the gay things and I cant tell my mom about the…the…oh dammit!”

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to force herself to breathe. Why was this happening again?

Vaguely, she was aware of Anna saying something and a gentle pressure on her arms. As the panic attack slowly, faded, she noted bitterly once more the lack of destruction and chaos around her. 

The researcher was watching her very carefully, slowly returning to her own chair. 

Ellie fiddled with her fingers, embarrassed that her weakness had been on full display. 

After a long silence, Anna finally spoke. “Ellie…have you ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder or condition?”

The suggestion hit her where it hurt most. “What? No!”

Anna held up her hands. “There’s nothing wrong with it…I was just wondering…”

“Wondering what?”

Anna considered her, her gaze piercing right through Ellie. “How often does this happen to you? What just happened?”

“I don’t know…few times a week…it varies…”

“Tell me…Ellie.” Anna asked, nodding thoughtfully. “What happened right before the first switch?”

“I…” she glanced down. “I slept with my……girlfriend…and I wondered if I should tell my mom.”

Anna brushed right over the g-word, astounding Ellie. “Your exact words in your report were: “I _worried_ about telling my mom.””

“I guess…”

“And did you have an episode like the one you just had?”

Ellie shook her head. “I might have worried about it a lot but…” the night drifted back to her: the contentedness, the realization that now she had proof, a brief spike of fear, perhaps a nightmare of an angry Katherine….? Ellie clutched her head, the memory faded by time. “…maybe? Yes?”

Anna’s eyes lit up. “Hang on!” She burst out of her chair and dove under the neighboring supply rack.

It would have surprised Ellie if she hadn’t already seen Anna do it multiple times.

The researcher emerged clutching her own battered notebook, a kind of amalgamation of the reports Katherine and Ellie had been sending. She flipped madly through it, muttering to herself.

Ellie watched, tapping her foot anxiously as Anna flipped between multiple entries, eyes lighting up further with each one.

“Yes!” She finally crowed, snapping the book shut. “The switches, this could be our connecting factor!” Anna turned to her, grinning like a cat that had finally cornered an elusive mouse. “Ellie, whenever you have an anxiety spike, it could somehow be causing you two to switch bodies!”

Ellie had to blink twice before she could muster up a: “what?”

“Every time there was a switch, you indicated some kind of anxiety in your reports! I bet each one was preceded by an anxiety attack.”

“I really dont know if every anxiety attack I’ve ever had has…”

“This is incredible!” Anna interrupted, seeming not to hear Ellie’s response. She paged through the notebook again, plucking a pen from behind her ear to hastily scribble something. “I need to reconsider my whole theory of emotional entanglement!” She pointed a finger at Ellie without looking up from her work. “Next time this happens, I want you to really focus on the sensations; what you are feeling right before a switch.”

“But something’s _wrong_ with me…” Ellie struggled to explain. “I…I cant explain it. If I embrace that feeling too much I…I…!”

But she couldn’t say it. How was she supposed to explain the moving objects, the flickering lights, the strange sense of _potency_ that swirled and sparked within her whenever her feelings spiked out of control?

A deeper fear settled beneath that. And if it was the cause of their constant switches, how could she accept that this meant that all of this was her fault?


	14. Responsibility

_“I’m sorry, that’s all he left you.”_

_“…alright. Thank you.”_

_The adjustor rose and Katherine followed suit._

_“I’m sorry,” the woman said, her face crinkling in sympathy. “I really wish there was more I could do.”_

_Katherine didn’t even wince at the faux compassion. She was numb to it at this point. “Thank you.”_

_“Is there any other source of potential income?” The woman asked, stuffing Tom’s will into her briefcase. “Maybe valuable objects that could be sold?”_

_The hourglasses came to mind. They had to be worth something right? A matching set, large and garish and old, inherited from Tom’s long-dead ancestors. Maybe some eccentric collector would pay a few hundred for them?_

_But no. She couldn’t let them go. That was one thing Tom had been very clear about._ These are for my girls. Don’t let them out of your sight.

_But with him gone, did that really matter anymore?_

_“Maybe,” She said. “I’d have to check.”_

_The adjustor nodded sagely. “Of course. In the meantime, I encourage you to consider your employment prospects.” She shrugged. “Or maybe a small-business loan. Interest rates are low at the moment, could be a prime time to start.” She ushered Katherine out of the office, making apologetic comments about needing to get to her next appointment. Katherine barely reacted. She watched the woman walk away down the long hallway, no part of her caring that she had essentially just been thrown out._

_Tom was gone. Nothing mattered._

_“Mommy?”_

_She glanced down. She’d been unable to avoid bringing Ellie here with her. The eleven-year-old had been so sick recently with grief and stomach bugs that school had been impossible. And cheap babysitters were hard to come by in the middle of the school day._

_Katherine took the girl’s hand. “Come on Ellie.” She urged, tugging her down from the bench. “We need to go home now.”_

_Ellie’s hand was sticky and her face was red and blotchy. She’d been crying again and wiping her face on her hand. Katherine pulled a wrinkled tissue from her purse and wiped at her daughter’s face._

_“Use a tissue when you cry, sweetie. We’re a big girl now, we have to keep ourselves clean.”_

_Ellie swatted her hand away. “No!”_

_Katherine was too utterly exhausted to admonish her. “Eleanor...”_

_“No!” Ellie insisted, dragging her feet like she was five. “I want daddy!”_

_She tried to feel something from that._ Anything. _It should hurt. Her daughter was angry and sad; she preferred her dead father to the mother right in front of her. But it barely registered. “He’s not coming back, honey...he’s gone.” Every time she said it, it felt weaker._

_“NO!” Ellie shrieked._

_She knew her daughter understood (it had been almost a week since the funeral), but the girl’s insistence on wanting something impossible frustrated her to no end. How was she supposed to comfort her if her needs were impossible to fulfill? How could she fix her daughter’s broken heart when she couldn’t even feel her own?_

_“Ellie…” she tried, crouching beside her. “Ellie…we need to be strong now. Dad, would want us to be brave and happy, even if we miss him.” There was absolutely no conviction behind her words. They felt as empty as wind._

_Ellie blinked at her, confusion evident on her face from Katherine’s lack of emotion. But it just wasn’t there. She couldn’t fake it, even for her daughter._

_She tried to pull Ellie into a hug but the girl was having none of it. She wriggled free, her slim form surprisingly strong and ran to the car. There, she pounded her fists against the door, fresh tears welling in her red eyes._

_Watching her, Katherine wished she could feel as severely as Ellie did. She wished she could feel anything right now. But she didn’t and she didn’t know how to make it better for any of them._

_The drive home was quiet, with Ellie’s wet sniffles being the only thing to break the stifling silence._

_They arrived and Katherine gravitated toward the kitchen. Here at least, she could do something useful._

_“What would you like for lunch, Ellie?”_

_Her daughter shook her head, scrubbing at her face again._

_“Ellie, please…you have to eat something.” Katherine pleaded. “I’ll make you whatever you want.”_

_Ellie fidgeted, twisting the hem of her shirt in her hands. “Would…would you make me a sandwich?” She asked quietly._

_Katherine felt her face soften the slightest bit. “Of course, honey.”_

_She was going to make this all okay. Somehow._

_As she folded the sandwich into her daughter’s favorite shape, a little sandwich blanket, an idea began to form in her mind._

_When Ellie smiled just the tiniest bit at the familiar shape, it solidified._

_For the first time in weeks, a tinge of excitement skipped through her heart._

_She_ could _make this all okay._

***

After that encounter with Alex, Katherine wasn’t looking forward to seeing her daughter. But she had to…right? She had to tell her…about her suspicions, about the false alarm a few weeks back, about the…

She gulped.

_About the kiss._

She tightened her grip on the steering wheel of Ellie’s car and flew through the changing light onto their home block. 

Ellie hadn’t returned her calls but she hardly wanted this to be a long-distance exchange. They needed to be together so Katherine could comfort her. So she could try to bridge some of this impossible gap between them at last. 

She knew Ellie was gone as soon as she pulled into the driveway. Her car was gone, as well as Mike’s truck. And she highly doubted Ellie would have gone into the headquarters for a “normal” workday after whatever had happened last night.

_But where would she have gone?_

She was barely through the front door when someone came barreling down the stairs.

Katherine flinched. “Fletcher?” He was supposed to be in school. But her reprimand died on her tongue as she looked at him.

“Hey…El…” He greeted her, eyes dull and twitchy, like he’d been up too late playing video games. For once, he didn’t seem surprised to see her home.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” She asked, unable to keep her mom tendencies under control.

“Aren’t you?” He snapped back, every bit the surly teenager Ellie had been at that age.

“I…I had…” Goodness, she really did sound like her daughter now. “Where’s…mom?”

Fletcher shook his head. “Left early this morning…said something about the hospital…”

_Of course._

Fletcher began to inch around her, clearly thinking he was in the clear to go. 

“You okay?” She asked him.

He flinched. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” And before she could say another word, he sprinted out the door behind her. 

Instinctively, Katherine made a move to follow him but forced herself to stop.

_Ellie first. Then I’ll deal with Fletcher once we’ve switched back._

Parenting her son as her daughter was only going to complicate things further.

***

When she arrived at the hospital, her courage failed her. 

She sat in the car for a long time, trying to work up the nerve to even contemplate what she was going to say. 

It had been hard enough trying to talk to Ellie after she’d woken up next to Alex. What was she supposed to say now that _this_ had happened?

But when she finally stepped inside and ran straight into herself, any nerve she had managed to muster up failed her.

The two of them stared at each other for several seconds, the tension thick between them in the empty hospital lobby.

“Hey…” Ellie finally said, eyes down. 

She looked awful, like she had spent the last few days in some combination of crying, screaming, and waking from horrible nightmares. Katherine couldn’t imagine what had happened in the last few hours to make her look that way so soon.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, more to say anything than out of suspicion. 

Ellie flinched, her shoulder tightening defensively. “Doesn’t matter.” She mumbled.

But it clearly did. Why else would they be in this predicament?

_Talk to her._

She had to, before it was too late.

Katherine took a deep breath. “Ellie…I think we need to talk.”

“No we don’t.”

She laid her hand on her arm. “Ellie…”

Ellie jerked backward. “No, mom. We don’t.”

The embarrassment was rising again, the shame. But Katherine pushed forward. “Don’t you think that talking about it may help us with this…”

“Mom!” Ellie shouted, throwing her arm between them. “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.”

Startled, Katherine could only stutter out a single: “W…why?”

Ellie folded her arms, face pinching. She turned fully away from Katherine, her whole body trembling. 

“Sweetie…” Katherine took a step forward, so she could look her in the eye. “what is going on with you lately?”

“You dont know?” Ellie snapped, her eyes red. “You spend more time in my body these days than I do.”

“But that…that doesn’t tell me what’s going on inside your head.” Katherine wanted to reach out again but she feared another rejection. “Honey…why didn’t you just tell me you were gay?”

The words were out. There was no taking them back. 

But for the first time today, her daughter was looking her in the eyes. For the first time in a long time, the distance seemed manageable. 

“I…I wasn’t ready to tell you.” Ellie admitted. 

The old hurt was resurfacing. “You told nearly everyone but me.” Katherine reminded her, trying to sound gentle. She tried to think of the Ellie in the diary; the scared girl trying to convince herself of who she was. 

“You were the hardest to tell!” Ellie snapped at her. 

“What?” The words were like a knife in her. “Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to lose you!” Ellie cried. “I didn’t want anything to change between us! And I still liked boys…I just…also liked girls. So I tried pretending it didn’t matter.”

Katherine took a minute to process all of that, the hurt slowly fading. “You thought…you would lose me?”

Ellie nodded. “I…I couldn’t bear the thought of you hating me.” She admitted, in little more than a whisper.

And suddenly it all made sense to Katherine. The rejections, the fear of opening up, the reason her daughter had tested the waters with her friends and Mike before trying to talk to her. Any lingering discomfort or resentment she felt about being the last to know vanished. 

“Honey…” She waited until Ellie looked at her before continuing. “I could never hate you.”

Ellie scoffed. “Really? Because after our first switch you didn’t even talk to me.” She shrank back, her voice cracking. “You didn’t even _try_.”

Katherine knew. She knew and she hated herself for that weakness. But it had been such an odd circumstance. Waking up next to a woman, feeling the intensity of her daughter’s feelings, then the whole thing with the hourglass…

_That’s no excuse for abandoning her. Again._

“I know.” Katherine admitted. “I’m sorry. But we’d just had another switch…and I…I was a bit shocked by…” she flushed. “…waking up to…her.”

“Oh god…” Ellie moaned, burying her face in her hands. “I knew it…I knew you wouldn’t approve.”

“Alex is an…interesting girl.” Katherine assured her. She thought back to the strangeness surrounding the beautiful woman. “But she’s…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ellie interrupted. “She wont want to see me anymore…”

Katherine frowned, sidetracked by the comment. “She said that?”

“No…but after what I did…” Ellie swallowed hard, looking nauseated. “I don’t want to tell her yet…and she hasn’t been…I think she’s avoiding me anyway.”

Katherine shifted uncomfortably. “I…may know the reason for that…”

Ellie looked up.

“I saw her…as you…a week or two ago…” Katherine admitted. “And then again…” she closed her eyes. “this morning…”

Ellie’s face paled. “You…you talked to Alex?!”

This was it. She had to say it.

“She…may have kissed me…you…ugh, she thought it was you.” Katherine shook her head, remembering all the raging emotions such a simple kiss had sent roiling through her daughter. “I…she caught me by surprise…I’m sorry.”

She had hoped that her matter-of-fact delivery might ease some of the obvious discomfort she was showing. But instead of looking horrified or disgusted, her daughter looked _broken_. Seeing that look on her own face took Katherine right back to just after Tom had died. The numbness.

“Ellie…”

Her daughter physically backed away from her. “Mom…how…how could you?”

“What was I supposed to do?” Katherine replied. “Obviously she thought I was you!”

Ellie’s face contorted. “Did you kiss her back?” She choked out. 

“No! Of course not!”

“Well what did you do?”

“I…I told her…” Katherine winced. “I told her about Chad…”

“Who’s Chad?!” But when Katherine was silent, the pieces seemed to click together at last. “No…no…” 

Katherine gave her a moment, hating herself more and more for the turmoil this was causing. “Honey…I’m so sorry.” She finally spoke up as Ellie started breathing faster. “It was…I panicked and it just sort of…came out…”

Ellie rounded on her, eyes burning with unshed tears. “Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? Why couldn’t you just stay out of MY life?”

The empty lobby echoed with the raised voice but Ellie still glanced around, as if expecting something else. 

If anything, the echoes just seemed to make her angrier. 

And Katherine didn’t know why.

Ellie brushed past Katherine. “Don’t follow me!” She spat over her shoulder. 

“Ellie!” Katherine surged forward, desperately reaching for her hand. 

But Ellie flinched away. “Leave me ALONE!” She shouted. 

And, taking a page from her brother’s book, she sprinted out the door, leaving Katherine alone in a desperate mess.


	15. Isolation

Katherine tried. But she still failed.

She drove around for an hour, peering desperately through her daughter’s windshield to try to spot either her car or her body. But in the few seconds head start Ellie had gained from Katherine’s shocked stupor, she’d vanished completely. 

Katherine pulled over, parking the car in front of, ironically enough, Mrs. Time’s shop. Instinctively, she searched the window. But there was no oversized hourglass on display. 

Screaming in frustration, Katherine banged her head against the steering wheel. 

This was all a mess. How had it come to this? How had she fallen so far out of her daughter’s life and then only managed to fall further after literally stepping into her shoes?

_You didn’t talk to her._

But now she had. And she’d made everything worse.

Something buzzed in her pants pocket, jolting her from her sorrows.

Ellie’s phone was ringing. She fished it out, desperately hoping that Ellie was calling her. She was going to make this right between them. She had to.

The caller ID just said: **_YOU KNOW WHO IT IS_**

Puzzled, Katherine hit accept.

“Hello…?”

“Ellie, bad time?”

The familiar voice sent a jolt straight through her. “Alex?!”

“Duh.” The woman didn’t even wait for Katherine to stutter out a response. “Where are you right now?”

“uhh…I…uhhh…” Swallowing hard, Katherine got a grip on herself. “I’m home. In my hometown. I had to…see my…mom for…something…”

“Your mom?”

Her heart twisted as she remembered Ellie’s outburst. Should she try to fix it? Or would meddling more only widen the rift between them?

“Actually…uh…this actually isn’t…”

“That hourglass of yours?” Alex interrupted. “Did it have green sand?”

Katherine nearly dropped the phone. “Wh…what? What did you say?”

“I just remembered seeing one like it in a museum on 5th Street…maybe…ehhhh…a week ago.” Alex continued, as if Katherine hadn’t spoken. “Anyway…reminded me of that one that you said you had lost…”

Katherine gasped. She gripped the phone tighter. “Really? Is it still there?”

Alex made a non-committal sound. “Nah, I think it was being sold to someone.”

Her heart plummeted. “Who?” She choked out.

“Someone by the name of Drexel?”

Katherine gave an exasperated sigh. “Great. Who is he, some eccentric billionaire?”

Alex made a strange noise. Almost as if she was very pleased with herself. “Why do you care?” She asked. “Do you know him?”

Katherine gripped the steering wheel tightly, her nerves coiled within her. “Alex…you dont understand. I need that hourglass. No matter what. I cant let it disappear again.”

Maybe if she couldn’t fix the rift between them, she could at least stop the switches. 

“Huh.” Alex sounded disappointed. “Okay, well, I tried. Cant say I didn’t.”

And she hung up without any sort of preamble. 

Katherine stared at the phone for a long desperate moment, off-put by the sudden disconnect and weighing the chance that she’d get any useful info out of the girl if she called her back. 

There was still every possibility that Alex had stolen the hourglass for unknown reasons. 

_But why would Alex have stolen the hourglass in the first place?_ Katherine reasoned. She couldn’t see what possible advantage Alex would have gained from that. _And if she did, why would she call me with a tip about it? To throw me off of suspecting her?_

Somehow, she didn’t think Alex was quite so diabolical. 

Groaning, Katherine leaned her head back on the seat, closing her eyes. 

_Drexel…it’s being sold to someone named Drexel._

She’d heard that name before. But she couldn’t place it right now. Why would someone want that hourglass? When she’d sold it, even the antique store owner had been hesitant to take it.

As far as anyone but herself and Ellie knew, it was just an extremely gaudy decoration. 

Her head was hurting trying to make sense of all of this. Why would Alex want the hourglass? Why had it vanished and reappeared in a museum if she hadn’t taken it? Why was it full of green sand all of the sudden? The only time it had done that was…

Katherine’s eyes flew open, one distinct memory suddenly very clear:

_“Just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you’re excused for doing stupid things!”_

_Ellie scoffed, anger coloring her face. “I can’t believe you! I thought we were past this! I hate...!” But she forcefully bit off the last word, nearly choking._

_Katherine deflated instantly, seeing the immediate change the sentiment brought to her daughter._

_Ellie’s eyes widened with horror at what had almost come tumbling out in her moment of anger._

_In the abrupt silence, the hourglass flared a brilliant green color, the sand within swirling in a miniature cyclone._

Katherine threw the car into gear. The last time it had turned green was the last time they’d had a big fight.

It was still connected to them somehow.

She had to find Ellie.

They couldn’t let this Drexel take the hourglass away from them. 

***

The city streets were busy this time of day. It didn’t compare to New York foot traffic but all Ellie needed was a crowd to vanish into. The midday lunch rush would do. 

She brushed past a man in a rain jacket, tugging mom’s old yellow windbreaker hood over her head. Her feet knew the destination before her mind recognized where she was heading. 

“ _Where are we going daddy?”_

_“Patience, Ellie…”_

_He was carrying her on his shoulders, taking long bouncing steps so she felt like she was riding a horse. Mom hated it when he did this. So now it was a thing they only did when alone._

_She was six, and she lived for these Sundays with dad. He was busy all week: with work or with mom or with travel but Sundays were just for them._

_Ellie gripped his hair and sat up straighter. “Daddy! Gallop!” She demanded, kicking her feet._

_But he’d come to a halt, eyes fixated on the shop in front of them._

_“Daddy?”_

_He tapped her leg and lifted her off his shoulders. Dad set her down gently, one hand on her shoulder._

_“Where are we?” She asked. They’d never come here before. Usually it was to the city park to see the ducks. Or the woods to play the rock game. Or the city fountain to play the water game._

_“My favorite place.” Dad declared. “it will be yours too.”_

_Ellie tilted her head, considering the dreary storefront before them. “It just says…_ Time’s a-wastin’…”

_He nodded. “Best store in the city.”_

_“Dad…why are we here? It looks closed.”_

_But he wasn’t looking at her; he was staring at the storefront like it held the meaning to life. “If you ever need to find me…you can always come back here.” He told her._

_“Why would I need to find you?”_

_He crouched in front of her; he only ever did that when he really wanted her to listen. “In case I need to go away for a long time.” He told her._

_Her heart clenched. “Are you leaving?!” He’d just come back from a long business trip, surely he wasn’t about to leave on another._

_Dad brushed her long hair behind her ear. “No…not yet my little miracle…” He whispered. “But if I do, if you need me - come here. And I will always find you.”_

Ellie looked up at the decrepit store front and the peeling letters. No matter when she came, this place never seemed to be open or even occupied. Over the past few years, almost all the letters had fallen off. The storefront now just read: “Wast”. 

The rain, which had been little more than a drizzle since the hospital, chose that moment to pick up. Ellie shrank into the rain jacket as people rushed by. 

Digging around in the pocket of mom’s jacket, her hands closed on a small box of some kind. She pulled out a slim white container. 

_Cigarettes_?

There was a lighter too. Ellie frowned at the offending objects. Mom hadn’t smoked in years. At least, not to her knowledge. 

Anger pricked at her insides, hot with betrayal. 

_You are just full of surprises today, aren’t you mom?_

She’d never smoked before. But she knew how to do it. And Katherine’s body clearly craved the action. Ellie didn’t even choke as she inhaled the sour air.

The last time she’d seen mom smoking…had been dad’s funeral. 

_“If you ever need to find me…you can always come back here.”_

Ellie exhaled a foul cloud. But she had come back. Day after day: every time she’d skipped school, the day after her final Hunt when the taste of Monica’s lips still lingered, right before leaving for college when she hadn’t known who she was. All the days she’d needed her dad. 

And no matter how much she needed him, he’d never found her again.

Now she stood here alone in the rain, smoking a cigarette in a yellow jacket. Trapped in her mom’s body. She’d never felt more lost. 

_He’s gone…and I’m alone._

“Ellie…”

On autopilot from her musings, she turned before remembering which body she was in. But just as her mind registered the person calling her by her real name, a blinding flash of light enveloped her. 

***

“Hello?”

“Monica…it’s me.”

“El? What’s up? You’ve missed like all your classes today…”

“Monica listen, please.”

“Ellie are you okay?”

“No. Monica…where would I go if I was really upset?”

“Is…this some kind of Zen riddle?”

“No! Just tell me!”

“Okay…uh…in high school you used to always talk about some kind of store downtown…”

“What store?”

“Ellie seriously, what’s going on?”

“Just tell me! I’ll explain later!”

“Okay, geez. It was some run-down novelty store…I think it was called Outta Time? Or Time Warp? Something like…”

“Time’s a-wastin.”

“Yeah! That was the one! You used to always say that your…”

One hand on the steering wheel, Katherine hung up Ellie’s phone, cutting Monica off mid-sentence. She knew that store. Why did she know that store?

Ten minutes later, she was screeching to a halt in the decrepit part of downtown. She scanned the storefronts, needing several seconds to pick the one of interest out of the run-down shops. 

There was no one out front and no one inside. Just a single cigarette still burning on the pavement. 

She slumped back in the seat. 

_Maybe she hasn’t made it here yet?_

Or maybe she was long gone.

_Where else would she go?_

Just as Katherine considered giving up and returning home (on the off-chance Ellie had actually gone there), the phone on her passenger seat buzzed again. 

She almost ignored it; it was most likely Monica calling back. But she had little else to do.

It wasn’t Monica. It was Anna.

**` Hey Katherine. If you’re still there, come by the hospital ASAP.` **

**` It’s about Ellie.` **

The bottom dropped out of Katherine’s stomach. 

Had she gotten hurt? Was Ellie back at the hospital in another mysterious coma? 

Her heart skipped. Or had she calmed down and returned and wanted to talk?

Her finger hovered over the text, mind still running through worst-case scenarios. 

But before she could calm down enough to figure out her response, the phone went off again.

_What now?_

It was Mike. 

Somehow, hearing his voice was both nerve-wracking and comforting. 

“Mike…”

“Ellie…are you with your mom?” He demanded.

She shook her head, troubled by his business-like tone. “No…no I’m not.” So much for Ellie having gone home.

Mike made an agitated humming sound. “She’s not answering her phone. She didn’t show up to work today and she didn’t say anything when she left this morning.” Something banged on Mike’s end, like a car door closing sharply. “Ellie…I dont know why but…I think…I think your mom’s run away.”

Katherine swallowed. “I know…I was just with her…”

“Where?”

“At the hospital…like an hour ago…”

Mike gave a strange cough. “Why were you two there again?” He demanded. 

“We…we had to talk to someone…”

Mike sighed angrily. “Someday Ellie…I’d appreciate if your mom told me what’s going on with you two.”

Katherine was silent. She didn’t know what to say. But she desperately wanted to keep him on the line. It had been so long since they had just _talked_. “We’ll find her…” She reassured him. 

He didn’t seem to have heard her. “But whatever that was will have to wait…” Mike continued. “We need to find her. Now.”

“Why?” 

“Something…” His voice cracked. “…something’s happened.”

Dread coiled in her stomach and rose to throttle her. “Mike…what’s going on?”

“Ellie…It’s not just Katie who’s disappeared.” Mike admitted. “Fletcher’s missing too.”


	16. Trigger

When Katherine stumbled back into the hospital, she felt like she’d been run over by a bus and injected with a full pot of coffee.

The news that Fletcher was also missing had sent her into a full-blown panic. She’d given Mike a list of his favorite spots to check; insisting that she would start hunting for “mom”.

Mike initially hadn’t seemed convinced but something in her voice finally made him come around.

Katherine gave the name at the desk, finding herself back where she had been an hour ago, when the worst thing she could have imagined was upsetting her daughter.

This was so much worse.

Everything came crashing down on her then. Both of her children were missing, one was angry with her beyond reproach, and she was stuck in the wrong body for it all again.

Her grip on the counter tightened.

_What do I do now?_

Anna appeared mere seconds later, her face tight. “Katherine, I’m glad you’re here…What is it?” She asked, taking in Katherine’s appearance.

She looked up at the researcher, feeling every bit as young as the body she was inhabiting. “Ellie’s missing.”

Anna seemed shocked by the news. “What?”

“My son as well.” Katherine continued, her voice shaking. “I dont…I dont know what to do.”

Anna touched her on the shoulder. “Come with me.” She pulled Katherine away from the lobby. “There’s something you need to know.”

The closet seemed smaller than it had previously. It took Katherine a moment to realize that it was because Anna had shoved a corkboard in the tiny space.

She settled herself in a chair, rubbing under her eyes to hide the half-formed tears. 

Anna remained standing, fiddling with something on the corkboard before speaking. 

“Is Ellie okay?” The researcher asked, after a moment. 

“I dont _know_.” The tears returned with a vengeance. “I…I told her something that made her upset and…and she ran off…now my son is missing too and my husband…” It was happening again; the strange little warm tingles running just under her daughter’s skin. “And I’m stuck in the wrong body…” As her breath grew shorter, they intensified. The storage rack beside her rattled unnervingly. 

Anna’s hands were suddenly on her arms and the feeling vanished. Katherine looked up into intense hazel eyes. “Katherine…I can fix this.”

“Wh…what?”

“The switches.” Anna declared. Her eyes shone as she gestured at the corkboard. “Behold: every single one.”

Katherine examined the thing more closely and noted that it was covered in dates. Every date since this whole adventure had begun months ago. 

The shear insanity of it all was enough to distract her from her frustration for a moment. “H…how.?”

Anna pulled a chair over. “I texted you to tell you…Ellie came to see me by herself earlier…she was upset about…something.”

Katherine had suspected as much. “About the guy?”

Anna grimaced. “Well, more like the whole sexuality thing in general. You should really talk to her about that when all this calms down…”

Katherine shifted uncomfortably but she nodded.

“But while we were talking, we thought of something.” Anna continued. She gestured at the corkboard. “I went back over all the data after she left and…I think we found a potential trigger for the switches.”

Katherine was so startled that she stood, knocking her chair over. “What?” She paced forward (only really a half step in the closet) and stood alongside Anna at the corkboard.

“Anxiety.” Anna declared. 

Well that wasn’t what she’d been expecting. “Anxiety?”

Anna nodded again. “Yes…Ellie’s been admitting to feelings of extreme stress and worry, and many of these correlated with your switches. Every time she marked a switch, there was some indication of anxiety. It seems something on her end triggers the magic whenever she has panic attacks.”

_Ellie’s been having panic attacks?_

Anna was rambling on about how she’d correlated certain language in Ellie’s entries to possible panic attacks but Katherine was too devastated to listen. 

She really hadn’t learned anything about her daughter through this whole experience. And if this had been happening for this long and this often…

_Then I was only making it worse._

“How do you know it wasn’t something on my end?” She interrupted, as Anna took a breath.

The researcher scoffed. “No offense Katherine, but your entries were random as heck. Nothing stood out. But Ellie’s almost always mentioned a concern of some kind. I missed it at first because I figured it was just college-related stress. But here we are.” She tapped the corkboard (which was strung with actual red yarn). “I think Ellie has a diagnosable stress-induced anxiety disorder. I recognized the symptoms from one of my mom’s old patients.”

Katherine swallowed her guilt over her own ignorance. “What about the switchbacks? Are those also…also triggered by her…anxiety?”

Anna grimaced. “I dont know yet. But I don’t think so.” She tugged out several loose pages from behind the corkboard that Katherine recognized as her own handwriting. “There doesn’t seem to be a connecting factor…except the pink sparks.” She eyed Katherine over her ream of paper. “You dont recall feeling anxious at all before the switchbacks, do you?”

Katherine shook her head. “No…they always surprised me…”

Anna hummed in disappointment. “Well, back to the drawing board then…” She shuffled her papers, already muttering something about emotions and bodies versus souls. 

Katherine looked down at her daughter’s form. She recalled the pink sparks that had marked their every switchback and that one false alarm. Her mind jumped to several times that windows had rattled or lights had flickered when she’d been in Ellie’s body and landed on that morning in the hallway after Alex’s kiss. That sensation of power running like an electrical current under her skin…

She closed her hands. “If Ellie’s been the one causing the switches…”

What was going on with Ellie?

“I think it’s been…unintentional.” Anna commented, sounding like she was choosing her words carefully (for once). “Much like the switchbacks have been.”

“Except maybe it’s not Ellie herself.” Katherine suggested, the thought slowly forming.

Anna shot a glance over her shoulder, hand poised to pin another journal entry in place. “What do you mean?”

“ _I_ triggered the first switchback.” Katherine recalled. “Ellie was in a coma. When I touched her hand…we switched back…”

“True…” Anna agreed. “…but you didn’t always have to touch to switch back.”

Katherine had already considered that. “Yes. Every switch may have been triggered by Ellie’s…anxiety. But I dont think any of the switchbacks were. They all occurred seemingly-randomly.” 

Anna tapped her chin. “So it’s either some kind of time limit on the magic - which is unlikely given the randomness of lengths- or it’s another factor entirely.” 

Katherine flexed Ellie’s hands again. “Could it be something to do with Ellie’s physical body that’s making all this happen?”

Anna’s eyes lit up. “Yes!” She declared. “Maybe! If it’s something to do with the physical chemical imbalance caused by her panic attacks…!” She cut herself off abruptly, biting her cheek. “…but you were never anxious when the switchback occurred…” She tapped something on the board that had been scribbled in Ellie’s untidy scrawl. “So maybe not…” The researcher briefly consulted the notes in her hand, shuffled through them aimlessly. “So we’ve narrowed it down to this: Ellie has a panic attack, it sparks the magic, you two switch. Then, later, while you’re in her body, you do something to trigger the switchback?”

Katherine thought back to the hourglass, and the green sand that Alex had mentioned. It was still linked to them somehow. Were they accessing its magic from a distance? Was _Ellie_ accessing it’s magic from a distance?

Anna was still talking, more to herself than to Katherine. “Ellie had a panic attack in front of me earlier today and nothing happened…” She shook her head, moving some of the pinned yarn. “Something about _you_ being in her body is triggering the switchbacks…but what?”

The sudden gust of wind after Alex’s kiss and the rattling storage rack came to mind. Slowly, Katherine nodded. “The switchbacks…” _She_ had somehow triggered the switchback the first time. It had also been involuntary. And coupled with the overwhelming desire to protect her daughter. 

The realization flooded her with resolve, stirring something deep inside of her that was warm and intense. Was that it then? Emotion?

Katherine stared at Ellie’s hands, trying to summon that nervous energy again. She hadn’t been aware of herself doing anything previously. But if she could figure out how to control this…

Maybe she didn’t have to keep chasing Ellie. Maybe she could find her. 

She flexed her hands again, thinking about her daughter and the desire she had to hold her tightly. This time, she felt something tickle along her palms, feather light and invigorating. 

Her heart skipped and she struggled to keep the feeling present. 

“I’m going to try something…” she told Anna, focused entirely on that sensation. “fill Ellie in…and keep her safe.”

Anna turned back to her. “Try something…?”

Katherine closed her eyes, focusing on the simmering feeling deep inside her, so repressed and pushed down that even with all of her time spent in her daughter’s skin, she hadn’t been fully aware of its existence before. It sprang to life like a geyser within Ellie’s body, filling her instantly with that tingling spray of energy.

She heard the shelves begin to rattle again.

“Katherine…? What?”

But the hospital was fading fast. The pink sparks snapped at her fingertips, racing across Ellie’s skin with more fury than they ever had during a switchback.

Katherine focused on that pulsing need within her, the desperation to find her children. The sensation of being flung into space overcame her, and she lost track of all feeling.

_Ellie…_

She was going to find her and make this all okay.

The floor was suddenly under her, cold and hard against her face.

Katherine sat up, her neck and back protesting the movement. It was dark but she knew even without looking that she was back. 

She nearly wept. It had worked. She was back in her own body.

But as she looked around, seeing dark walls and the outlines of what could have been furniture or something more sinister, her heartbeat quickened.

_Where am I?_

She tried to stand and found herself unable to get up.

Her worst fears were confirmed: Ellie was in danger.

“Hello?” She called out. “Hello? Fletcher? Are you here?”

Her voice was swallowed by the darkness without so much as an echo to orient her. 

Katherine tried to feel for that well of power once more but there was nothing. It had vanished from her just as assuredly as Ellie’s body had.

Her legs still unreliable, she tried to crawl forward, feeling out in front of her as far as she could. Her head was spinning like she’d just gotten off of a rollercoaster. Several times, she had to pause to catch her breath.

_What is going on? What happened?_

At least Ellie was safe again. Back in her own body in the hospital with Anna.

Katherine froze as voices cut through the dark; just close enough to be coherent.

“Where’s the boy?”

“Wait, he’s not with you?!…I thought you had him! He’s not here.”

“Very funny. Now hand her over. Before I have to hurt you.”

“Uhhhhhhh, no. No ,I dont think I will.”

Something was happening to her body. Exhaustion was smothering her like a blanket, forcing her limbs down. Katherine struggled to stay away, to hear the rest of the conversation. She’d heard those voices before; she was sure of it. But their words grew more and more garbled as the darkness pressed in on her skull, sending her deeper into the blackness…

Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she gasped for breath.

The room was bright and small, full of disheveled shelves, scattered papers, and a corkboard hanging half-off the wall. She was back in the hospital closet. And it was in complete disarray compared to the last time she’d seen it.

Someone was holding her up. “Ellie? That you?”

She shook her head, scrabbling to grip Anna’s arm. “No…no it’s Katherine.”

The researcher sighed, looking relieved as Katherine steadied herself on her feet. “Okay…a little warning next time? And maybe you should sit down…I barely caught you…”

“Caught me?”

Anna nodded. “You collapsed, right after the usual sparking…and the things flying…”

“Collapsed? But why…?”

Then it hit her: Ellie must be unconscious again, it was only Katherine jumping into her body that was temporarily reviving her. Her blood boiled. Someone had knocked her daughter out and taken her away.

She snatched her chair back and firmly seated herself in it. “I’m trying again.” She announced, squeezing her eyes shut. “Try to wake her up once I go…”

“Katherine, wait…!”

But it was too late. Now that she had done it once, it was all too easy to access the power and do it again. She faded rapidly into the sensation, snapping into her own skin once more…

When she opened her body’s eyes this time, there were flashes of colorful light and several incoherent raised voices.

The bursts were enough to barely illuminate the space around her.

Keeping low and silent, Katherine crawled forward once more, until she could see around the closest shape in the darkness. Flash after flash illuminated tiny details: grey walls, stacks of random antiques, boxes overflowing with heaps of cloth…

Suddenly, Katherine knew just where they were.

 _Why on earth would someone take her_ there?

The answers were eluding her. She didn’t have much time. Already she could feel the switch coming. Ellie was going to be back in this body soon. But how could she reach her when she woke up?

Catching a glimpse of something on the ground, Katherine scrambled for it. She barely managed to carry out her plan before she was thrown back into her daughter’s body.

“Katherine?”

She panted and looked up at Anna. 

“Someone took Ellie. But I know where she is.”

***

Her head was pounding.

Ellie stirred, hating that this was becoming a normal thing.

Upon opening her eyes she very quickly realized two things. One: she was still in mom’s body. Two: she was somewhere very unfamiliar.

Fear gripped her as she remembered what had happened on the street. She pulled her knees to her chest and found that her hands and ankles were bound by some kind of shiny green rope.

Ellie glanced down. “What the…?”

Words were scrawled messily on her arm in black sharpie. In her mother’s handwriting:

_I’m coming honey._


End file.
